Lucky Gimmick
by maravelous
Summary: AU; Ambitious journalist seeking genius detective for murder investigation. Will not pay in advance. — ShikaTema & NejiTen
1. Cyanide Suicide Actually Cybermen

**Author's Note: **I've archived about five different ideas for a ShikaTema detective story, because I've wanted to write one for years. But recently I decided on a whim to mash them all together. So here we are! This is gonna be a terribly corny, typical "whodunit" story. And for extra lulz I'll be introducing each chapter almost like a newspaper; the titles will be displayed like the names of articles. For those curious, Neji and Tenten will not be introduced until Chapter 3, but both will have huge parts to play.

With that, please enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>[ Cyanide Suicide Actually Cybermen ]<strong>

He envied them.

The world still spun. The clouds still sailed by. And the wind never stopped blowing. But they had no worries. They just kept on living. No problem. No big deal.

If he wasn't human, what would he be? A blade of grass, or a dead leaf, or a cloud…? Something peaceful, that just moved where the breeze pushed it, and didn't need to resist.

Shikamaru opened his mouth, watching through hooded eyes the cigarette smoke escape his lips and swirl through the air in black spirals.

"Maybe I'd be smoke…" he murmured. He inhaled his cigarette once more, staring ahead of himself blankly. He was lounging in a large, comfortable chair, the only piece of furniture in the big, empty room besides a sofa, a television set, and a glass cabinet in the corner.

The lights were out, and the blinds were drawn, only allowing a sliver of sun to flow in from the cracks beneath them. Dust floated through the slim splashes of light, golden and glowing. "Maybe I'd be dust…" Shikamaru contemplated, gazing at the specks as they sailed through the muggy air. More smoke spread from his lips as he talked. His voice was low, and uninterested.

Bored.

He leaned back further into the chair and closed his eyes, placing a hand on his forehead. "Ah, and now I'm talking to myself," he muttered. "Man, I'm fucked up. I need to get out more…"

He opened his eyes and heaved a sigh. Stubbing his cigarette out on the arm of his chair, he shook his head, disappointed in himself.

"I need someone to talk to…"

As he sat for a while in thoughtful silence, he lifted up his left hand to stare at it. The knuckles of the pinky and ring fingers were circled by a deep, purple scar.

After gazing at his fingers for about a minute, he clapped his hands together and said, "Well, that's it then." He reached over to the sofa next to his chair, and yanked laboriously onto his thighs a thin laptop. Opening it, he pulled up an empty Word Document and began to type in large, bold letters:

_Now Hiring…_

.

**One year later…**

.

Mascarra. Eyeliner. Shadow. Blush. Lipstick.

And of course a button-up top, pencil skirt and a pair of prized heels.

These were only some of the ingredients to a perfect interview.

She gazed proudly at herself in the mirror, admiring the graceful way a pastel blonde strand of hair framed her eyes, having escaped from her professional bun. Her red, glossed lips moved smoothly as she practiced using her low, melodious voice: "Hello, Rock Lee."

.

It was a sunny July morning, but the dizzying summer heat of Konoha did little to sway Temari. Today she was going to achieve her dream job as manager of the highly renowned Konoha Post.

She started out early at the post in late High School as a volunteer around the office. When a small story came up and no one wanted to publish it, she was finally given her chance to do it herself. It was such a hit that Kakashi made her a journalist immediately. Now she was well known as one of the best reporters in the city. But she'd been nothing more than that until her boss, Kakashi, gave her the opportunity of a lifetime.

Kakashi was retiring soon, and was looking for someone who could take the job as manager of the paper. Although a huge amount of competition was involved, Temari was for certain at the top of the list. However, Kakashi wanted to go out on a bang, so he was interested in an accident that had taken place a week ago. The influential Maito Gai, a powerful body-builder, popular trainer and owner of two gyms, had apparently collapsed in the home of one of his trainees. Now still in a coma in the hospital, tests on his blood confirmed that he had poisoned himself with cyanide in an attempted suicide.

Since Gai was an important man in the athletic world, it was a big deal, and Kakashi wanted to score an interview with the key eye-witness, Rock Lee. Since Kakashi's other star reporter, Sasuke, was busy writing a different story, Kakashi was forced to decide that this was the perfect challenge for Temari.

He'd warned her already that Mr. Lee was hard to deal with, and the only reason his testimony wasn't posted straight to the public by now was that the press simply could not get a word out of him. But Temari knew she had potential. She'd already intended to work herself up from where she was. And this opportunity would be sure to sky-rocket her up the scale, at least in Kakashi's eyes, and land her a dream job.

So now, all that was left was to get this interview _down_.

And there he was, the skinny dark-haired man sitting alone at an iron table in the corner of the little outdoors café. Temari nudged her sunglasses lower down her nose to get a good look at him. Yes, that was Rock Lee alright, the rather unimportant man who worked at a pharmacy and had witnessed Gai's collapse himself.

Temari double-checked her purse to make sure she had all she needed; her recording device, her notebook and pen, and her journalism notes, just in case.

Taking a deep breath, she kept her eye on Lee and murmured to herself, "Make this count, Temari…"

She strode towards the table, threading her way between the other couples sitting and chatting in the hot, early morning sun, and sat down in the chair across from Lee.

He looked up at her immediately, away from the doodles he'd been drawing on the napkin, and blinked a pair of large, curious eyes at her. "Are you the reporter that called me?"

Temari gave him a friendly smile. "Yes! I'm Temari. You're Mr. Lee?"

"That's me!" He grinned at her eagerly, suddenly sitting forward in his chair and leaning across the table with his hands drumming the top restlessly. "So you wanna hear the story, huh?"

Temari blinked, leaning back into her chair subconsciously and away from his raw-smelling breath. "Um…Okay, I guess it's fine if you want to start immediately," she said with a nervous laugh, slowly reaching into her purse and retrieving the notebook and pen. Kakashi wasn't kidding; this guy was _not_ subtle.

Lee saw the notebook and pen, and seemed to get more serious. He changed from the stature of a dog waiting for a treat, to a mysterious, quiet and almost obnoxiously exaggerated glare. "So," he said, voice suddenly dark and soft. He looked around himself, glancing here and there as if to be sure no one was listening. But everyone at the small booths and tables surrounding the two seemed too busy with work and conversation to notice them, so he deemed it a safe atmosphere to speak;

"So…" he repeated softly, and Temari poised the tip of the pen at the paper of her notebook, ready. At least she was getting a story out of him, no matter how much she'd wished she could have gotten a coffee first. "You all seem to think this was an attempted suicide, right?" Lee began.

Temari blinked as he nodded at her expectantly, and said bluntly, "Um…yeah?"

"Well…" Lee tapped the table, and shook his finger towards himself, signaling to Temari that she needed to come closer. She resisted the urge to give him a bewildered grimace, and did so, knowing her promotion would all be worth it. Lee gave her a concerned scowl, then opened his mouth to say:

"WELL YOU'RE _WRONG_!"

Temari jumped back in her seat, shocked at the sudden outburst. Those at the tables around them all twisted over their shoulders to stare as Lee stood up and pointed at poor Temari, declaring in a deafening boom:

"It wasn't attempted suicide! It was attempted _murder_!"

.

Now Temari knew why the press had such a hard time with Lee.

She'd always figured he was just scarred by the experience and didn't want to talk about it. But she was wrong.

It wasn't that he didn't talk enough.

He talked _too much_.

And everything he said was complete and utter _bullshit_.

When asked by Temari what he meant by "murder", he said, quoted exactly as she wrote it in her notebook, that "Gai was almost killed by the Wicked Queen".

And when asked to elaborate, he got even vaguer, explaining in elaborate sentences what had happened. Temari, however, could only make out a few fragments that she scribbled into her notebook thinking maybe they had something to do with…anything, those being "the cyber-men gave him the wrong order," "two alien dollars came down and abducted him" and something about "too much caffeine".

It was like he was trying to narrate the life of a character from a sci-fi movie. Eventually all Temari could do was sit there in awe as he stood next to the table and flailed his arms about, not even bothering to write any of it down except for the four sentences she'd written in vain before.

Temari couldn't believe this. She'd come all this way, gone to all this trouble, and now she was going to be put down by a man that just liked to lie and talk about fairy tales.

She put her elbow on the table and rested her forehead in her hand as Lee kept going on and on, not seeming to notice that she was by now completely exasperated. This was it. Her biggest story and she couldn't even get an interview with the only witness.

Now the only thing left to do was give up.

She had tried so hard to make a good impression of herself. She just wanted to impress her brothers, show them that she was a good older sister. She just wanted to make something of herself.

But those were just dreams…

"Dreams…"

Temari blinked in surprise. _She _hadn't said that.

She looked up at Lee to see that he was suddenly gazing off into the distance. "Gai always believed in me," he said, quite seriously. Temari watched as he clenched a fist. "He supported my hopes and dreams right from the beginning. When no one else was there, he _was_."

Temari stared at Lee, feeling a strange sensation stirring in her chest as he said, "He didn't give up on me. So I won't give up on him."

Temari felt her lips part. Lee's eyes sparkled as he murmured, more to himself than her:

"The best kind of people never give up."

And everything clicked into place.

Temari's mind worked fast. Sometimes, she believed, faster than the normal person's did. She was good at interpreting people and situations, one of the reasons why she knew journalism was the job for her.

And right now, she was dissecting Lee's mysteries word by word.

"_He was almost killed by the Wicked Queen."_

The Wicked Queen…There was a Wicked Queen in the story Snow White, wasn't there? She poisoned the apple. Maybe Lee thought that someone had poisoned something of Gai's.

"_The cyber-men gave him the wrong order."_

Workers were often compared to robots, especially if they served for fast food places. So Lee was trying to say that Gai had ordered something from a fast food establishment, and it had been poisoned.

"_Two alien dollars came down and abducted him…Too much caffeine…"_

Two bucks came down from the stars... Starbucks?

There was caffeine in coffee, wasn't there…?

Temari slammed a hand down on the table. Lee twitched a little and looked down at her as she grinned up at him, feeling victorious. "Lee!" she cried, "You're trying to say that he ordered a poisoned coffee from Starbucks?"

Lee blinked down at her, seeming surprised for a moment. But a second later he threw himself down at the table, making her twitch, and hissed, "Not so loud!" Holding a quivering finger to his lips, he gestured around and whispered, "It's only safe to speak in codes! You never know who's listening…"

Although it was tempting to remind him that he'd been yelling about the situation at the top of his lungs not too long ago, Temari shook it off and smirked. "Lee," she said seriously, holding her notebook at the ready. "Tell me _everything_."

She was _so_ getting promoted.

.

Or not.

Temari tried not to stomp as she walked down the hallway from her boss's office. She could not _believe _him!

She'd gone straight to Kakashi after gathering the rest of the information from Lee, and translating it all into, well, reason. Basically, from what she could tell, Lee had gone with Gai, his trainer, to the Starbucks, and Gai had gotten himself a coffee. On the way back to Lee's, Gai started complaining about not feeling well. Finally, at Lee's house, he threw up in the bathroom. He decided it was food poisoning and took a pill, but almost a minute after taking it he collapsed on the floor.

This was a _perfect_ story! This could even spark ides about a conspiracy, which would get people reading the newspaper again like it was an online news program! This was _just_ what Kakashi wanted, to teach the public how important the newspaper still was even in these days of advanced technology and pocket computers.

So why, _why_, didn't he want her to take on the story?

Temari grumbled curse words under her breath as quietly as possible while she continued her walk down the hallway. Kakashi had given her the day off even so, letting her know that she'd done a great job, even if he didn't want to post the story.

His excuse was that he was worried it would spark too many public opinions and he'd get in trouble with the police, since the police report _did_ say it was attempted suicide, not attempted murder like Lee assumed. He also reminded her that this was all so flighty in the details, and nothing really matched up, so there was a possibility that the paper would get a bad image, and he couldn't take that chance.

Bull. Shit.

"Oh, whoa, watch it there."

Temari blinked and stopped walking. She had been about to turn the hallway into the front lobby, but a tall, hunched and wrinkled man quickly rounded the corner with his hands up to stop her.

"Oh hey Danzo," Temari greeted him politely. He was the post's only janitor, a very diligent and friendly man.

"Do you mind if you go through the back for the next couple days? I just quit my day job, so I'm taking the time I have now to give the floors out here a real thorough cleaning." He chuckled croakily. "I figure it would be best if everyone uses the back entrance 'till I'm done, don't want anyone to slip and hurt themselves."

Temari nodded. "Oh, okay, that's fine. Thanks for warning me."

"You're very welcome." He looked closely at her. "You seem upset. What's the matter?"

She bit her lip and shrugged. "Well…" She sighed and adjusted the strap of her purse, lowering her voice. "I know I shouldn't be complaining, but…I was just assigned my biggest story yet, and I _know_ it would have been a hit. I've been working my way up to this forever, and writing it probably would have gotten me that managerial job. But Kakashi won't let me publish it!"

Danzo frowned. "That's a shame. Do you know why?"

"Well it was about that bodybuilder, Gai. You heard?"

Danzo nodded slowly. "Yes, I heard he tried to kill himself. Strange, I never would have guessed he was depressed."

"Well that's the thing," Temari said, narrowing her eyes. "I just interviewed one of the guys he used to train, who _saw_ it happen, and he said he wasn't trying to commit suicide; he said someone _poisoned_ him."

Danzo's eyes widened, and he puckered his lips in thought. "But didn't the police say it was attempted suicide? They found cyanide in his blood, and then a bottle of cyanide capsules in his pocket."

"The police can't _always _be right," Temari said.

Danzo sighed. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter now, right? What Kakashi says, goes."

"Yeah, I suppose so. But it's really bugging me." She sighed. "Well, what about you?" she asked, trying her best to be friendly even though she felt frustrated. "What are you gonna be doing for a day job now?"

"Oh, well I actually got a job working as a taxi driver," Danzo said with a crooked smile. "So far it's going really well. I started just last week."

Temari nodded. "Good for you." She turned around. "Well I should go."

"Alright, have a nice day." Danzo paused, then, "And Temari." She glanced over her shoulder. He was giving her a stern look. "Don't worry too much about the article. You'll have plenty of chances to write one in the future."

Temari nodded, smiling at him. "Thanks, Danzo." She couldn't help though, as she bid farewell to Danzo and made her way out the back entrance of the building, to feel confusion building up in her slowly. None of this made sense. If Lee was telling the truth, then who would have done it? Who would have wanted to poison Gai? She didn't hear Lee mention any enemies.

She raked her brain for answers as she drove through the busy streets, but could find none, so she decided as she finally pulled into her driveway, to take Danzo's advice and forget about it. It was a lost cause. Besides, he had a point; she would probably have plenty of other chances to write a hit story in the future, if she kept working as hard as she had been.

And so, her bubble burst, she managed to make it through the rest of the day without worrying about the case with Gai. She spent her day off well; went out for lunch with one of her friends, came back home and cleaned the bathroom, had a dinner of tomato soup and crackers, and then got ready to sleep.

But someone else had other plans.

As soon as her head touched the pillow, and she closed her eyes to rest, she was jolted out of her sleepy thoughts by the ringing of her phone. Raising an eyebrow, she reached over and looked at the ID.

It was Lee. Temari sighed. She had to give her number to everyone she interviewed, and receive theirs as well for means of communication. But she really didn't want to talk to Lee right now.

Exasperated, she gave in to the incessant rings and answered: "Hello?"

"_Temari! Hello, it's me. Lee."_

"Hi…Um, can I help you?" Temari asked unenthusiastically.

"_Yeah, I just wanted to ask you something about the article."_

Temari closed her eyes impatiently. She was too tired to deal with him right now, and did not want to admit that she had failed. So she decided to just lie to get him off her back: "Yeah, the article. It'll be printed in about two days at the most."

"_No, actually…Um, I was just going to ask that you not put my name in it."_

Temari raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"_Well I'm worried that the murderer will come after me…I mean, you never know, right?"_

Temari found herself sitting up a little straighter. This had indeed caught her attention. Gai was an athlete. Athletes were very, very rarely depressed, since having a steady, regular workout released endorphins, and just made a person feel so much better. Gai was healthy, relatively young, popular…He had a good job that he loved, and a lot of friends, wasn't too rich but had quite a lot…

There was absolutely _no _reason for him to kill himself.

So that only left one option; Lee was right. This was an attack on Gai's life. And whoever had committed it was still out there!

She swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Lee!" she exclaimed into the phone, now completely awake. "This is perfect!"

"…_What is?"_

"Well, I mean it's a _good_ thing I can't publish the article yet, isn't it?"

"_W…Wait, you're __**not **__going to publish the article? But you just said—"_

"—Oh I know what I said, Lee," Temari interrupted him impatiently. "I lied, the article isn't going to be published. But it _could_ be if this goes the way I plan!"

"_What do you mean?"_

Temari felt herself getting more and more excited. "Well, think! If I figure out _why_ Gai was poisoned on my own, not only will I get a _stellar_ story, but I'll be saving the newspaper time and money! I won't _only_ be considered for a promotion, I'll be _idolized_. I'll _finally_ have my dream job!"

But Lee sounded uncertain. _"But Miss Temari…You'd need to be a __**detective**__ to look into something like that. You may be intelligent, but this is such a master plan! You'd need to be more than __**just**__ smart to solve it. You'd need to be a genius."_

Temari put a finger to her lips. "Well…That may be true…" She yawned and rubbed her forehead. She was getting tired. "It's too late now. I'll figure it out tomorrow." She frowned. "And you'd better answer your phone when I call. You were connected to this, whatever this is, so keep in contact. Or _I'll _come after you."

She snapped her phone shut and set it on the bedside table, then lay down again, her mind whirling.

Aggravating as it was, Lee's last point was very valid. Temari simply wasn't in the correct profession to investigate an attempted murder. She didn't even know if this was legal or not. Could she be found guilty for withholding evidence, or tampering with a crime scene? If that happened, Kakashi would give her the _opposite_ of the promotion.

And what did she _need_? She'd need to have warrants, and connections, and permissions. She'd need to have experience. She'd need to be prepared. She'd need to be a genius.

"A genius," she murmured under her breath, staring at the ceiling.

A clock ticked monotonously on the wall across the room. Five seconds, then:

"A_ genius_!"

.

The next morning, Temari was ready for business. Her hair was up in a bun, her face was very lightly decorated with thin, natural layers of blush and shadow. She wore a button up shirt tucked into a pencil skirt, and on her feet were pulled a pair of professional heels.

She looked into the mirror and added a finishing touch of red lipstick. Smiling at her reflection, she said smoothly:

"Hello, Shikamaru Nara."

**L U C K Y – G I M M I C K**

} _Continued on Pg A2; Genius Pulls Bodyguard Card_


	2. Genius Pulls Bodyguard Card

**[ Genius Pulls Bodyguard Card ]**

There were many things Shikamaru thought, believed, wished and dearly _hoped _he would never have to see again in his entire life. For example a used diaper, a disembodied foot, or a half-dissected frog. It was understandable in his mind that he should face what he saw in his doorway with just as much disgust, terror and anguish.

Temari. He thought she was out of his life for good. He thought he'd gotten _rid _of her. But no, she was here, on _his_ doorstep, sporting a rather forced smile. Yes, that was the same smile he could remember, the one that terrified him to no end back in High School. She looked just about the same, with her blonde hair and stunning blue eyes. She still had a great body, with legs that could knock a man out just by looking at them. Except now, even more shapely…

Damn it all, she was even more awful than before.

He watched, still astounded and horrified, as she opened her mouth. Oh no. She was going to talk. If she talked, he would have to listen. And then he'd have to respond to her. And they would have to make conversation…

No. No, he could not have this.

Without a moment's warning, he swung the door back in.

"No, no, no, wait!" he heard her cry, and felt the door jolt to a halt before it could shut completely.

He scowled. Great. Now he'd have to _communicate_ with the creature. He leaned over so he could glare at her through the crack in the door. She was staring at him, giving him a nervous grin, her teal eyes sparkling hopefully as she struggled to hold the door open with her hand.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call my bodyguard on you," Shikamaru growled darkly through the crack.

Temari blinked at these words, obviously intimidated. But, yes, just as he remembered her, she would not back down. "Um…There's money in it?" she said uncertainly, shrugging her shoulders and smiling.

Shikamaru gazed at her blankly, then muttered, "I'm rich. You're annoying. Get lost."

"Okay, okay, okay, fine!" Shikamaru paused, raising an eyebrow, as she used both her hands to pry the door open, wrenching it from his grip. She heaved a sigh, losing the fake grin, and scowled as she opened the door all the way to face him. "Look, I'm not happy to see you either, okay? But I really need a favor."

"You…" He pointed a finger at her accusingly. "You almost ruined my life. Why should _I_ give _you_ a _favor_?"

"Because I can make it up to you, okay?" Temari insisted, rolling her eyes. "And honestly, how immature can you get? That was _years_ ago. That was _High School_. Can't you grow up?"

"You lied to my face, _used _me to get into the advanced school, and then set me up as a cheater during a test and got me _expelled_, only so _you'd_ get the top marks," Shikamaru said bluntly, not blinking once in that sentence.

Temari winced. "Yes, yes," she muttered, dejected. "I know what you still _think _happened back then."

"I don't _think_, I _know_."

"Well it's not true!" Temari snapped. Shikamaru glared at the woman who dared stand there and face him once again, and she thinned her lips impatiently. "Okay, I'm not going to bother arguing about it with you. I've been trying for years, and you still never listen to me."

"There's no reason why I should. Now I'll say it again, get lost."

"No, please, just hear me out!" Temari pleaded, holding onto the door as if for dear life. Shikamaru stared at her, bewildered, as she gazed back at him with huge eyes. "Please, just one time. I swear, I'll leave you alone after this, I'll even drop this whole thing if you still don't want to have anything to do with me. But just let me in and listen, because it's interesting, and you _won't_ regret hearing about it."

Shikamaru frowned down at her. "Will you go away if I listen?"

"Yes." Temari nodded fervently.

"Forever?"

"If you want."

Shikamaru heaved a tired sigh. He held his hands out to the door exasperatedly: "Come in."

.

"For the last time, no."

Temari groaned. She was pacing back and forth in front of Shikamaru, who sat on the sofa in his living room. As expected from the man that had won the Nobel Peace Prize _and _three genius grants; his house was _enormous_. It was a mansion at the end of a long avenue with only three trees; apparently he really liked his space, because as well as a lack of trees there was hardly any furniture in this room.

Temari glanced around herself, trying to calm her temper. The blinds were all drawn, except for one open window that overlooked the sky. The air was muggy, but not unclean, simply mixed with the scent of cigarette smoke coming from an ashtray on the coffee table.

But there was one thing that drew her attention, contrasting with the boring scenery. It was next to the door that led to the hallway, a large, glass case, with a collection of small handguns inside of it.

She frowned, observing this. She'd been glancing at it every so often since she'd been unenthusiastically invited inside and started explaining to Shikamaru the case with Gai, but now she was really noticing how well-used it seemed to be.

"Are you hoping one of them will get up and shoot me?"

Temari turned to glare at Shikamaru. "Why do you have those anyways? You don't seem like the kind that hunts."

"I'm not," Shikamaru said bluntly, leaning forward and threading his fingers. "But what I _am_ is a huge influence around the globe on science and law, the owner of more than twelve prestigious awards, extremely wealthy, hired by the government for top-secret cases, the man after whom a school has been named, and already the target of two jealous scientists and three desperate burglars." Temari blinked at the impact of the sentence, and he shrugged. "Face it, I'm famous. So yeah, I'd assume being armed at all times and having a vast knowledge of self-defense is kind of mandatory."

Temari watched him, a hand on her hip. "You seem to compliment yourself with a sense of contempt."

"Of course I do," he snapped. "I hate this job. I never _asked_ to be a genius, I never _asked_ to be a detective. But here I am, working for the government, solving case after case, living the same day over and over again." He heaved a tired sigh and leaned back into the sofa. "I give the world intelligence, and they just feed me boring with a side of monotony on a big, ugly-ass plate."

Temari pursed her lips. "You complain about being bored, and yet you refuse to accept the offer to take on the most exciting local discovery in _months_?"

Shikamaru gave Temari an infuriating smirk. "I'll take boredom if it means I get to watch you suffer."

Temari fought back the angry retorts and fisted her skirt. "This is _important_."

"It's _nothing_," Shikamaru disagreed loudly, arching his back to stretch. "It's just an ambitious journalist who thinks she's stumbled across a huge conspiracy, when really all that exists is a sad man that just wanted to end it all, but failed, poor bastard."

"He was an athlete," Temari insisted, stepping in front of Shikamaru furiously. "He was healthy and positively _filled_ with endorphins. He had a good life, a job he loved, tons of friends and money…There's no _way_ he wanted to commit suicide."

"The brain works in strange ways," Shikamaru drawled. "Depression is a diagnosable illness. Sometimes it's genetic, have you checked his family?"

"Lee insists Gai was poisoned, and I believe him," Temari hissed, feeling ready to spit fire.

"And so what if he was?" Temari watched as Shikamaru placed his hands on his knees, looking up into her eyes. "Listen," he said seriously. "This is a matter for the police."

"This is your _job_—"

"—My job," Shikamaru interrupted her calmly, "is to investigate _large_ issues that not even the FBI can solve. _This _is nothing _close_ to what I work with. It's too small for me, Sweetheart, that's as plain as I can say it."

Temari grit her teeth, cringing at the nickname. "What if he comes back?" she said through her anger. "What if the guy who tried to poison Gai comes to visit him at the hospital to finish the job?"

"It's none of our concern." Shikamaru frowned up at her. "Let me tell you a little fact; the more you get involved in things you don't even know about, the more you're going to realize that you're not _ready _for this."

"I _am _ready for this—!"

"—Have you ever seen a dead body?" Temari paused, blinking in surprise. Shikamaru stared up at her seriously.

"Wh…What kind of question is that?"

"Have you listened to the sound of a little girl being tortured and killed being recorded on a cell phone?"

"…You're being ridiculous why—?"

"—Have you had to watch someone who taught you everything you knew die slowly, for four hours, right in front of your eyes? Have you ever killed a man?"

Temari gazed at Shikamaru, unable to speak. The sound of pipes humming broke the silence as they stared at each other. Shikamaru's dusty-brown eyes were dark and angry, but patient and calm.

Temari knew what he was talking about. Asuma Sarutobi. Her post had written a story on it, Sasuke had been the one to write it, although he couldn't even get a word out of Shikamaru, let alone a single interview. But everyone knew what happened. Shikamaru was famous in the town for it anyways. It was a story the entire world remembered.

A renowned scientist, Hidan, grew jealous of Shikamaru's growing success and fame. On medication that stirred with his emotions, Hidan eventually grew insane, and finally decided he wanted revenge for his stolen spotlight. He sought out Shikamaru's private teacher, Asuma, and kidnapped him. Then, toting his prisoner, he broke into Shikamaru's house, handcuffed his wrist to a table, and forced the man, then only twenty one, to watch as he tortured Asuma slowly and agonizingly until he finally died of blood loss.

Hidan then turned to Shikamaru to try and kill him, but Shikamaru outsmarted him; grabbing Hidan's knife right before he was about to kill him, Shikamaru cut off two of his own fingers to escape the handcuffs, then stabbed and killed Hidan on the spot. Shikamaru slid by the court with murder in self-defense, and was left alone, everyone expecting him to stay quiet, in solitude, never to step foot outside again, not that a single person blamed him.

Temari could still remember hearing this news, and her reaction to the story. She had dreams that night, flashbacks to High School, when she and Shikamaru were actually working together. They got along well, even if they did fight a lot. She cried that night too, thinking about him. She could imagine him, cold and alone and helpless. It was so in his character to just stay out of sight forever.

Knowing this, she'd actually planned on visiting him the next day. She had really wanted to.

But what surprised everyone, especially Temari, was when he came out into the public the morning after and declared a new and efficient way to convert water into gasoline. Most shocking of all, he even went live on television, volunteering to explain to the world his new discovery with a calm, professional manner.

After that, he didn't stop. He came up with new inventions and pieces of technology like Willy Wonka came up with chocolate. He only ever left his house to address the public on his newest genius invention, stunning the world with what everyone called admirable courage and monumental brilliance. Soon enough, the government of Konoha decided to hire him as a special, private detective, using him for top-secret or super-important cases that only he seemed to be able to figure out. During a speech dedicated to Shikamaru which Shikamaru didn't even attend, the mayor said that the kid wasn't a celebrity, but he sure was useful.

And he was. But he was oh, so aggravating. He left Temari speechless, sometimes. She'd be at work, listening to them talking about the latest article they were going to write for Shikamaru Nara, and she'd spend all day wondering. Just thinking about him…

And now here he was. Giving her that look. Talking to her after all those years, all those years that she tried to apologize and explain herself, and he just ignored her and shunned her away. All those years she'd followed his life, and he hadn't even said a word to her.

And here he was. Looking at her like she was an idiot.

Temari glowered down at the floor, and heard him sigh. Then he said quietly, "You're lucky."

Temari looked up as pointed his folded hands towards her. She noticed a dark bruise circling two fingers of his left hand and felt her chest tighten as he continued: "You're definitely lucky to be standing here, because anyone else would be out on the street with my bodyguard on their ass. But you were friends with me in High School, so I'll allow it. Briefly."

He stood, facing her directly. She stared up at him. Her adrenaline pounded through her body as he said, "And now you're doubly lucky, because I'm going to give you the best gift anyone could possibly receive from me; my advice."

He pointed towards the door and said loudly, "Give up."

Temari felt a strange tug at her heart.

But oddly enough, it wasn't one of sadness, or pity, or even that of anger.

It was one of excitement.

She felt a smile come to her lips, a smile that made Shikamaru raise an eyebrow in surprise.

"Thanks," she said, "But I don't believe in luck."

Shikamaru lost the serious expression. He dropped his hands, staring after her as she turned and walked towards the door, accepting his invitation. "Oh, but to be fair," she said suddenly, stopping and turning over her shoulder. "I'll give you some advice of my own, I learned it from a friend." She paused.

"The best kind of people never give up."

Shikamaru said nothing. But his eyes were searching Temari's almost desperately for some sort of reason. Of course, Temari would not give him that luxury. She pursed her lips, studying him, then simply turned around and took one step towards the door. But she didn't get far.

"Ah, shit."

She whirled around eagerly, losing her stony demeanor and smiling ear to ear. He glowered at her, exasperated. "Fine," he grumbled. "Fine, fine. I'll take the stupid case." He paused, then muttered as she clapped her hands together ecstatically, "But you have to _swear_ that when this is all over, you'll leave me alone."

"I swear," Temari said, nodding happily.

"And I mean forever."

"Of course, whatever you want."

He rolled his eyes and pointed once again towards the door. "Now get out."

Temari grinned. "I'll call you tomorrow then, as soon as I have something."

Shikamaru stiffened. "Wait, wait, hold up: '_Something_'?" he repeated. "What do you mean, '_something_'? What is '_something_'?"

"_Something_ that will help us figure out who poisoned Gai."

"And where in hell's name are you gonna start?"

Temari glared at him. "Do you think I'm stupid? Starbucks of course."

"And what are you going to do there?" Shikamaru continued his interrogation.

Temari tapped her foot impatiently. "What do you _think_?" She smirked. "I'm going to have coffee with Rock Lee."

Shikamaru was silent for a couple seconds, before he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You have to be joking."

"I know it sounds like I didn't think of anything," Temari said loudly, trying to get this over with. "But you should know that I already understand what's at stake here. Yes, Lee witnessed the tragedy himself, and since he believes Gai was poisoned by the workers of Starbucks, _you_ think he'll be far too upset to go there. Right?"

Shikamaru took his hand away from his face to look at Temari, who gazed at him expectantly. So he nodded once.

She nodded back. "Well. You're wrong." Shikamaru opened his mouth to retort, but she interrupted him quickly: "Lee is extremely bent on bringing Gai's attacker to justice, so I'm one-hundred-percent certain he'll be up to the idea."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes; however Temari was not stopping: "But another problem you must be thinking of is this," she continued. "If there is a possibility that Gai was, indeed, poisoned, then the person that did it just may have it out for Lee too. And if that's so, then getting Lee coffee would be ridiculously risky, because _it_ could be poisoned as well. Is that what you're thinking?"

Shikamaru was staring at her, mouth agape, but he nodded again weakly. She smiled curtly, and he scoffed. "What, are you going to give me some half-assed excuse as to why I'm wrong on _that_ point too?"

"No. That's exactly what _I_ think we're risking as well."

"And?" Shikamaru said imploringly.

"And I can't wait to see what happens."

Shikamaru looked at her with a blank expression, then sighed. "Wow. A stupid, useless case and an even stupider partner," he grumbled, more to himself than her.

Temari just laughed and turned around briskly to walk towards the door. "I'll be at Starbucks tomorrow morning with Lee," she called over her shoulder. "And you're coming."

He rolled his eyes and muttered unenthusiastically, "Of _course_ I am."

"Poison coffee on me. Will you be having any?"

She met his eyes as he stared after her. They were filled with frustration and impatience. But a small smile sat on his face, and Temari felt, upon seeing it, that if only for a moment, they really understood each other.

"No thanks," he said, amused. "I don't gamble."

**L U C K Y – G I M M I C K**

} _Continued on Pg A3; Daring Detective's Discreet Distraction_


	3. Daring Detective's Discreet Distraction

**SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN****: THIS STORY IS BEING TURNED INTO A DOUJIN~ **Just click on my deviantArt link on my profile page! ;)

**Author's Note: **Sorry about the lack of updates! Thing is, it's been extremely difficult for me to come up with a villain since I now pretty much like all the characters in Naruto (yes even Sakura). But I've decided on the culprit at last, so everyone feel free to guess who/what is behind which mystery! I will never tell you if you're right or wrong, of course, but it'll be exciting to see if anyone can discover the secrets before they are revealed! Have fun, guys! :D

* * *

><p><strong>[ Daring Detective's Discreet Distraction ]<strong>

**Five years ago…**

"Neji, could you walk any slower?" Tenten called disapprovingly over her shoulder.

"Yes, I could. Would you like me to?" Neji Hyuuga retorted, amused, as he treaded through the falling leaves enveloping the sidewalk of a grand college campus. Tenten glowered, skidding to a halt to wait for him to catch up.

"Come on, smartass," she snapped. "This test determines whether I get into this school or not, I _cannot_ be late to it!"

"You have fifteen minutes," Neji said with a small chuckle as he let her grip his arm to pull him after her. "I'm sure you won't be late, the building's right up there."

"I want to be _early_," Tenten defended herself, tripping briefly over a couple twigs and branches mixed in with the dead leaves. The smell of autumn filled her nostrils as she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself; "I'm nervous," she admitted to Neji quietly, her eyes glued to her goal; the glass building sitting on the edge of the hill they were gradually beginning to climb, its windows gleaming in the sunlight and reflecting the clear, blue sky.

Neji shook his wrist out of her vicious grip and took her hand gently in his own as they walked. "Don't be," he said with a calm smile as she looked back at him imploringly. "You've been studying for months. You'll be fine."

She chewed on her bottom lip, still restless. "But what if I _don't_ get in?" she worried, tilting her head up briefly as if some deity living between the clouds scattering the bright blue sky would come down and grace her. "I'll have to settle for my Plan B college, and that one's on the other side of the state…" She paused, then added sadly, "We won't _ever_ be able to see each other if I don't get into the same school as you."

Neji sighed. "Would you cut it out?" They'd reached the top of the hill by now, and took their stop in front of one of the stone benches lining the path up to the front doors of the building. He suddenly yanked gently on her arm so she was forced to twirl around and face him, so he could say gently, "I wouldn't be dating you if you weren't smart, you know."

She blushed, but pushed his hands away and crossed her arms, muttering sarcastically "Well _lucky_ me." She sighed. "You walked so slow, I'm not gonna have as much time to study as I wanted!"

"Aren't you usually complaining about me being too _fast_?" Neji queried exasperatedly.

"Yeah, because you don't seem to realize that I don't have legs up to the _clouds_ like you."

She paused when Neji suddenly leaned down, to murmur in her ear, his breath tickling her neck slyly, "Last night you told me you _like_ my legs."

Despite herself she let an embarrassed giggle escape her mouth as she punched Neji playfully away from her, blushing wildly. "Shut up!" Neji chuckled, and she smiled up at him hopefully. "You're coming to pick me up after the test, right?"

"Of course." He smirked and said teasingly, "I will be vigilantly watching my phone. Best boyfriend ever?"

"Best boyfriend ever," Tenten agreed with a laugh. Neji leaned down and let her kiss him on the nose sweetly. A large smile lifted his face as he said, "Good luck."

"I don't need _luck_," Tenten said proudly with a wink as she swung around and walked down the sidewalk towards the building.

She twisted over her shoulder as she went, and called cheerfully, "See you later!"

Neji raised a hand, his other one stuffed in his pocket as he replied "Later." A soft smile sat on his face.

Tenten would never forget it.

**Present day…**

Her fingers drummed on her knees. She sucked her lips in restlessly and tried to calm her nerves. Around her the bustling silver flashes, piles of paper and clacking of shoes blended with each other and painted the busy atmosphere of the Konoha post.

She swept a long brown braid over her shoulder and threaded her fingers together anxiously. The folder sitting on her lap was empty, but her pencil sat perched on the edge of it, waiting patiently. Her thoughts drifted once again to the last day she saw Neji Hyuuga.

She heaved a sigh. "Later my ass…" she muttered. But immediately afterwards she shook her head viciously, glowering down at her lap. She forced herself to push the thoughts out of her mind, cursing herself for even allowing them to enter her brain to begin with. Why was she being so stupid?

It was her first day on the job. She didn't need these distractions!

"Tenten?"

Finally hearing her name, she jumped to her feet erratically, facing her new boss directly. As she gave him a warm smile to the best of her abilities, she said excitedly, "What do you need Kakashi?"

He was frowning as he exited his office into the hallway, standing near the bench and looking not at Tenten but at a folder. "I need…" he muttered, almost distractedly. He scratched his chin, seeming uncertain. Looking up, his eyes scanned the small brunette woman who was eagerly standing in front of him. "Hmm." He slapped his knee with the folder and, very hesitantly, began: "It's not what _I_ need…It's what I _think_ someone _else_ needs…"

Tenten blinked in surprise, but kept her concern at bay. "Who?"

.

"Temari Subaku, District Health Advisor."

"_What_?"

Shikamaru glowered at the frustrating woman in front of him, and the tall, skinny man in green gym clothes standing next to her. Both were wearing huge smiles on their faces that would have blinded him if he wasn't wearing his sunglasses.

"That's how I'll introduce us," Temari explained brightly, seeming very impressed with herself. "You asked how I planned to, didn't you?"

"Yeah, when you called me," Shikamaru muttered, rubbing his forehead and glancing around at the sidewalk outside of the Starbucks in downtown Konoha. The early morning sun was beating down cheerfully through the leaves of the short trees lining the street, and made him wince as he slowly removed the shades from his face. "I kinda didn't expect you to answer that question immediately. Maybe after, like, a 'hello' or 'good morning' or at least a greeting or…something…" He frowned as he noticed the tall, dark-haired man gazing at him with unnaturally large eyes and raised a brow uncomfortably. "Uh…Rock Lee, I'm guessing?"

The man nodded very slowly. He seemed to be in awe as he said, "And you are Shikamaru Nara…" He shook his head very slowly from side to side, gigantic pupils never straying from their awkward focal point of Shikamaru's face. "I have to say, it is an honor, sir. I was shocked when Temari told me she knew a celebrity!"

Shikamaru felt like he was under a microscope. This man was an odd one. Usually Shikamaru was fine with odd, and he was sure he'd get used to this, but for now he was quite unsettled. So he coughed and said, "I'm…not a celebrity."

Temari scoffed and Shikamaru felt his fingers twitch at the infuriating sound. "Really?" she asked with a disbelieving smile. "After that speech about a school being named after you and a satellite landing on the moon in your name—"

"I never said anything about a satellite!"

"_Nonetheless_, your sense of modesty is apparently on the fritz," Temari teased with a laugh that sent shivers of disgust washing down Shikamaru's spine. "Come on Mister Detective, we're in your territory now. Don't be so shy, tell us how we should approach them."

"Definitely not as the District Health Advisor," Shikamaru grumbled. "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Wouldn't the District Health Advisor _call_ before coming in?"

"Surprise inspection."

"They still call before-hand for a surprise inspection."

"_Yeah_, they're _expecting_ a surprise inspection." Shikamaru stared at Temari, who was giving him a look like he was a five grader.

"And you know that how?" he asked awkwardly after a small, confused silence.

Temari sighed and grabbed his and Lee's arms. Both men stumbled after her, but immediately she dropped them to lead them briskly into the Starbucks, all the while explaining: "Listen, it's simple; Lee is apparently friends with one of the barista's—"

"—In _love_," Lee corrected Temari harshly, seeming appalled that she'd underestimated this statement.

Temari's brow twitched in annoyance but she continued impatiently, "Okay, he's _in love_ with one of the barista's, and since he talks to her a lot he knows that they're expecting a surprise inspection today. Which gives me the perfect chance to interview the employees and see who was working here on the day Gai drank the supposedly poisoned coffee."

"Temari!" Shikamaru took a swift step in front of her to halt her long stride. She gave him an impatient glare and he said angrily, "Look at this!" And he pulled from his back pocket a badge.

Temari blinked at it, seeming unimpressed, and Shikamaru sighed. "Look what it says, it says 'Universal Clearance'. Do you know what that means?"

"…The Milky Way is fifty-percent off?"

Shikamaru glowered. Temari smirked.

Lee frowned, concentrating, then said loudly, "Actually Temari, I think it means—"

"I was making a joke," she interrupted him quickly, sighing. "Yes, I know what it means. It means you have clearance into any crime scene, or whatever, for investigations, or something, right?"

"Right. Which means I can get us into there _as a detective_, in which case they have the _obligation_ to talk to me," Shikamaru explained as Lee gazed at the badge in awe.

"Wow. Good for you." Temari said bluntly, sarcasm dripping from every word. "You have a shiny badge that lets you talk to people. And?"

"And we don't _need_ to pretend to be from the Health Advisory," Shikamaru continued, getting more frustrated every second. "In fact we _can't _pretend to be from the Health Advisory, that's _illegal_."

"So?"

Shikamaru gave her a dumb look. "I work with the police."

"Then arrest me," she said, then smirked and added, "If you're feeling kinky."

He glared at her and she gave an infuriating laugh. But Lee looked unsettled by the dark atmosphere colliding between the two and spoke up nervously; "Um, you know, Temari, it _would_ be a little less troublesome to _not_ lie and just use Shikamaru's badge, right?"

Temari sighed and pulled them both closer so they could hear her while the surrounding patrons drinking coffee glumly at their lonely tables could not. "Listen. If we barge on in there claiming we're gonna be interrogating them for an investigation, all the workers are gonna tense up, won't they?" she explained, giving both men a condescending frown. "Come on, think about it! If _you_ guys were approached by a detective, wouldn't _you_ get all nervous and complacent?"

Shikamaru and Lee paused to think. And as much as it pained him to admit it to himself, Shikamaru came across the discovery, at the same time he was sure that Lee did, that Temari had a point.

Damn.

She went on; "And if we _do_ run into someone suspicious, and they _know_ we're investigating a crime, then they sure as hell aren't gonna tell us anything, at least not anything honest." She stared at the men as they contemplated this, and said with a deep, expectant nod in their direction, "_Right_?" very slowly, like she was talking to two small children.

And as much as the latter gesture got on his nerves, Shikamaru decided that she was correct, muttering, "Yes, I know this. I'm a detective and I have to deal with that kind of thing every time." He shook his head. "But I know how to go undercover, I'm not an amateur. I can use the badge on the _manager_ to get in, and then have the _manager _tell the workers who we'll be interrogating that we're from the Health—"

"—But what if the _manager_ is exactly the man who poisoned Gai?" Lee said loudly, pounding a fist into his hand like he'd come across a eulogy.

Immediately Temari and Shikamaru both pressed a finger to their lips as a couple people at the tables around them raised their eyebrows, annoyed at Lee's volume. He slammed his hands over his mouth and let out a little guilty squeak, and Temari heaved a sigh, taking her finger away from her lips to place her hand on her forehead delicately.

"I never thought a managerial job would take this much effort," she grumbled. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Then Temari shrugged her shoulders and her expression snapped to a bright smile. "Well we can't just sulk over everything! We've got work to do."

"W…Wait!" Shikamaru stumbled as the woman grasped his arm in a hawk-like way and yanked him after her. "Hold on, but you said Lee knows someone who works here, won't it be a little suspicious when he suddenly shows up to be the Health Advisor?"

"Oh, Lee's not coming with us," Temari said distractedly as she guided him viciously over behind the counter. "He's going to be our distraction."

"Our wha—"

"—_SAKURA_, _MY BEAUTIFUL FLOWER!_"

Temari and Shikamaru both twitched in shock as Lee suddenly swept up to the front counter, elegantly placing one hand on the wood and the other twirling in the air to grasp the hand of the sweet-looking, pink-haired barista that was busy handing a customer their mocha.

Temari and Shikamaru were both appalled, this being completely unexpected apparently even on _Temari's_ part, but even more surprising was how the barista reacted:

Absolutely calmly.

As if this happened every day she just shook her hand from his, smiled, and apologized politely to the slightly bewildered customer for the small interruption. She then gave him a cup-holder before bidding him kindly goodbye.

As they watched Lee waiting eagerly for her, bouncing on the balls of his feet, to complete this task, Shikamaru said cautiously under his breath, "I think…I found something _worse_ about this situation…than _you_," to Temari, who was looking at Lee like he was an alien. Which Shikamaru didn't doubt he would be.

"Well…" Temari said awkwardly, "he _was_ distracting."

"True…"

They continued to observe, slightly in awe, as the barista turned to smile brightly at Lee and say in a sunny voice, "Good morning Lee! The usual?"

"This girl must be a saint!" Temari gasped.

"Yes, please! You are so kind, Sakura, always knowing just what I want!"

"Lee, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what you want," Sakura said with a giggle. "You come here almost every day."

"Only for you, my beauty!" Lee cried happily. "It is only a matter of time before I capture your heart at last!"

Sakura winced a bit at the way he yelled that, but said with a smile, "Uh huh, but can you attempt to capture my heart a little quieter? People here have just woken up and don't need to have their eardrums blown out first thing in the morning." She laughed cheerfully when he slammed his hands over his mouth once again and said, "So, I'll get you the same, a salted caramel mocha. And for you the…oh…" She paused and a small silence followed as her voice trailed away. Lee blinked at her curiously, and she frowned. "Ah…I was almost about to order for Gai…"

Lee's face fell, and Sakura said sadly, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Lee. I keep expecting him to come in here…I'm so used to getting the same for him every morning just like you, I just forgot about what happened…" She looked very concerned as Lee nodded slowly, as if he was thinking deeply to himself, and she asked timidly, "How is he doing?" while she took his hand in hers comfortingly, "Is he getting any better?"

Lee looked up at her and chewed his lip. "Unfortunately the doctors told me they don't know when he'll wake up from the coma. It may be a very long time, they said." Sakura's lips puckered sadly, and Lee seemed to notice, for he put on a huge grin immediately and tightened his hand in hers. "Ah, but you know Gai! He will be opening his eyes within the next couple days, and then he will be even better than before! After all, the best kind of people never give up!"

Sakura smiled and nodded, eyes glittering fondly as they stuck on Lee's enthusiastic smile. Shikamaru noticed the look in her eyes, and glanced down to see the same look in Temari's as she watched this. There was some sort of spark in her gaze. An inspiration of some sort, an excitement.

He knew, just by looking at her; she wasn't ever going to give up on this case.

Which meant there was going to be a lot of grief in his future, he decided as he slowly felt his own lips turn up in a tiny smile; a smile that was hard to spot, but there nonetheless.

But Temari's expression quickly changed from this to a confident grin as soon as someone behind them said, "Oh, can I help you?" They turned to see a dark-haired man with tattoos coming out of the back room behind the counter, rubbing his hands together and giving them a friendly smile.

Temari immediately whipped out a business card, and flashed it towards the man too fast for him to see.

"Temari Subaku, District Health Advisor." She smirked at Shikamaru and said, "This is my _assistant_… Dick Smalls."

_What_ did she just call him?

"…Wow." Shikamaru whispered almost desperately, but Temari had pushed past him by now and over to shake the hand of the blissfully unaware man that greeted them.

"Oh, you're here already. Well that's alright, we're prepared," the man said with a friendly laugh. "I'm the manager, Kiba. This over here is Sakura, she's my best barista."

The pink-haired woman grinned bashfully hearing this from the kitchen and gave the two a happy wave. Kiba turned to Shikamaru and Temari and gestured to the kitchen. "So shall I have Sakura show you around up here first, then take you around the back room myself afterwards?"

"That sounds good," Temari said sweetly.

"Alright then. I'll be there, you can just come on back when you're finished out here. Ask me if you need anything, Sakura!"

"Will do." Kiba left to go to the back room as Sakura, still busy making Lee's order, who was waiting behind the counter as discreetly as someone in those gym clothes could, turned happily to Temari and Shikamaru. "Well, I'm in the process of making a coffee right now luckily enough, so you can just observe me doing that?"

"Perfect." Temari blinked at Sakura expectant stare, and coughed. Sakura said awkwardly, "Um…Aren't you supposed to be checking things off…or something?"

Temari blinked, and Shikamaru almost grinned sensing that she was finally being put in her place. But Temari immediately snapped to cheerfulness again, saying brightly, "Oh, our company's policies change every so often. This inspection will rely mainly on sight." Sakura nodded slowly, apparently still confused, but Temari said shortly, "We have very good memory," before sweeping over into the kitchen and saying, "So! Why don't you show us how it works back here!"

"Oh! Okay." Sakura turned back to making the coffee. "Well, this is where we put the beans, and…" She went off, explaining as she worked how she made the coffee. Shikamaru couldn't help but stare, completely bewildered, at Temari, who was nodding deeply, seeming completely absorbed in Sakura's work. He couldn't believe these people were buying this. Temari was so deep under cover it was almost as if she believed her own routine; Shikamaru could hardly contain his rage and utter confusion, finding himself helplessly unable to contribute to anything the other two women were conducting. All he could do was listen.

"Yes, that's pretty much all there is to it! Here you go, Lee."

"Ah! Thank you, my beautiful flower!" Shikamaru raised a brow as Lee bent over the counter like a swan to accept his coffee, swooning when Sakura's fingers brushed his. Sakura blushed and turned to Temari uncertainly as she bid Lee a polite goodbye over her shoulder. "He's um…a regular…" she explained to Temari quietly, apparently embarrassed.

Temari nodded slowly. "I can see that."

Sakura coughed, flustered, and said brightly. "So! Um…"

But before she could say anything more, Temari said, "So, do you usually work a regular schedule?"

"Oh, um, yes." Sakura nodded quickly. "Usually I work every morning, 'till noon. I've been here so long now, so I know how the kitchen works almost by heart, so, um, I get pretty good hours, haha." She laughed, obviously nervous talking so casually to someone supposed to be professional, but trying to seem as lighthearted as possible to keep up the good atmosphere.

Temari seemed to focus a little more intensely on this. "Oh, so you're usually working here whenever _he _stops in?"

Temari nodded over Sakura's shoulder, and Sakura turned to see Lee, still standing at the counter, like a soldier, fully attentive, gazing at the group behind the counter as if he was a ghost. Sakura stiffened and said nervously. "O-Oh, um…"

"_Yes_, Sakura?" Lee immediately cried, seeming ecstatic that she was suddenly giving him attention.

Sakura blushed, seeming terrible embarrassed by this. "L-Lee, please, um…Why don't you go drink your coffee before it gets cold? This isn't the time…"

Lee blinked and gasped. "Oh! Of course, you were expecting _Health Inspectors_! I see!" Lee's huge eyes fixed on Temari and Shikamaru and said, "Hello, _strangers_." Temari and Shikamaru both twitched, and Temari said awkwardly, "…Hello."

"I don't know _who_ you are, but apparently you are _Health Inspectors_." Sakura raised an eyebrow, and Temari said slowly, "Yes…"

But Lee only went on; "I have never _met_ you before, but since Sakura told me a day ago, that she was expecting a surprise _health inspection_ today, you _must_ be _Health Inspectors. _So I know this, even though you are complete _strangers_ to me!"

"I-I see..."

"As strange as the proverbial leaf that blows across the sea."

"…Uh uh…"

"Lee…" Sakura nervously hissed under her breath. "Lee, your coffee…is getting cold…"

Lee nodded very slowly and obnoxiously. "Of course…Then I will go and drink it…It is nice to meet you…_strangers_…Good luck on your _health inspection_, Sakura!"

With that, he danced away over to a table, leaving a small breeze of cologne in his wake as Shikamaru smacked a hand to his forehead. He had never had to partake in an undercover interrogation that he would have to dub a disaster. Well, there was a first for everything.

Sakura turned to face Temari again and said cautiously, "U-Um…I'm sorry about him, he's, um…He's a friend of mine and he sometimes can get a little, well…Um…"

Temari smiled kindly. "Not a problem!" She frowned and said suddenly, "Lee, huh? Rock Lee?"

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise. "Um, yes! How did you know?"

"Well he was in the newspaper," Temari said, and Shikamaru frowned. Huh. She was on to something. "Yeah, I remember reading about him. He's the guy that witnessed that bodybuilder try to kill himself, right?"

Sakura paused and chewed on her lip, her face falling, but she said as politely as she could. "Oh, um…Yes…I knew Gai, too. He and Lee are both regulars…Or, um…were…"

Temari seemed to notice the sad look Sakura suddenly had and backed down just a bit. Well, she wasn't _totally_ heartless, Shikamaru deemed. "Oh, so you knew Gai too. I'm sorry."

Sakura looked up and smiled at Temari. "Oh, no I'm fine. It's more Lee that I'm worried about. He and Gai are so close. I just hope Gai recovers soon."

"Oh, I'm sure everyone does," Temari said soothingly. "It's a terrible story. And that's so strange, that someone so successful and happy would want to commit suicide. You said he was a regular here, did you ever…well, _notice_ anything?"

Sakura sighed and shook her head. "No, never! Gai had such a structured life, everything was in control. I mean, he even controlled his coffee."

"How so?" Temari's eyes had gotten wider, and Shikamaru didn't blame her; his ears were perked himself. He took a step close to Temari, becoming more attentive as Sakura went on:

"Well he and Lee got the same thing every morning when they came in," Sakura said. "Lee a salted caramel mocha, which is a regular seller here. But Gai has always been more particular. Always a tall espresso with two shots of chocolate and vanilla."

"Wow. So he always had an unusual order, huh? Were you always the one that prepared his coffee?"

"Oh, well most of the time," Sakura said. "But it's always whoever isn't busy at the time. Sometimes another worker is here in the mornings to help me and sometimes they're the one that prepares the coffee. It depends, really."

"Oh…" Temari seemed slightly disappointed. Shikamaru shared this feeling. They were getting close, though. They couldn't exactly ask who it was that was working with Sakura on the day that Gai had ordered that specific coffee, and he doubted she'd remember anyways. "So…" Temari said distractedly, obviously trying to find something more to look into. "Gai was a creature of habit, huh?"

"Yes." Sakura laughed nostalgically. "It's funny, we always have a vial of vanilla ready for him every morning, because we know we'll need it for him."

Temari and Shikamaru shared a look, suddenly, an understanding blinking between their eyes, before Temari said, "Where do you keep it?"

Sakura blinked. "Oh, well, we keep all our shots and sweeteners stored in the back room. Kiba's back there right now, he could show you while he's taking you around."

"Great. Thanks a lot, Sakura." Temari gripped Shikamaru's elbow painfully and pulled him after her as they walked to the back room. While they went Temari leaned in and hissed, "D'you hear that? Someone could have poisoned Gai's coffee with the vanilla!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Shikamaru snapped back under his breath as they entered a small room with freezers and heaters and large silver appliances stacked here and there. "We can't know that for sure, and that's a really risky claim anyways. Also, Dick Smalls? Really?"

"It's the first thing that came to my mind."

"It's not funny."

"It's hilarious," Temari insisted with a giggle, and although Shikamaru wouldn't give her word of reassurance, he had to admit to himself; she had a point…that was a good one…

He sighed as they took a stop, stuffing his hands in his pockets and saying, "So she mentioned the shots are kept somewhere back here…I wonder where…"

As they both looked around, Shikamaru's eye caught on something orange hidden underneath a small space heater. He frowned and immediately strode over. Temari followed hesitantly as he reached underneath, and pulled out a small bottle.

"What is it?" Shikamaru winced when he heard Temari hiss excitedly over his shoulder.

He held up the bottle in an irritated manner and turned it over in his hand. "It's a pill bottle," he realized aloud as the bottle rattled with the motion.

"A pill bottle…" Temari repeated thoughtfully. She took it from him and fingered the empty, sticky parts of the plastic, saying slowly, "The label's been ripped off…"

Shikamaru and Temari looked up and met each other's gazes immediately. They barely looked away when Kiba suddenly rounded the corner, saying, "Oh, you're done in the kitchen already? Shall I show you how everything works back here?"

Temari, hiding the pills behind her back, grinned and said, "Actually, I think we've seen everything we need to…"

.

"So someone could have actually poisoned Gai with those pills!" Lee whispered under his breath while he jumped up and down on the balls of his feet. The three were walking slowly down the sunny sidewalk past the roars of trucks and small business cars.

"Well it's looking more and more likely," Temari said in an excited murmur as she shook the pills while they walked. "I mean, think about it. Say someone is working at Starbucks and sees that Gai is a regular. One day this worker just decides to be an assassin—"

"—Really?" Temari paused and glared at Shikamaru who gave her an exasperated look. "One day someone just snaps and decides to become an assassin? Someone in _this_ town?"

"Just play along for a bit, okay?" Temari snapped, annoyed. Shikamaru rolled his eyes as she continued; "He would know that it would be so easy poison Gai since he gets the same thing every day, so while this worker is preparing it one morning, he slips cyanide into Gai's coffee, and Gai drinks it up."

"I'm still not so sure about that," Shikamaru said with a frown. "It can't be that simple Temari—"

"—Temari? Temari Subaku?"

All three turned around in surprise to see a small brunette woman with twin braids flung over her shoulders bouncing around the corner of a wall enclosing a small parking lot, seeming very excited to see Temari. Temari raised an eyebrow, pulling her sunglasses off of her face to get a better look at the tiny Asian woman. "Um…Do I know you?"

"No, but I know you!" Temari only looked more flustered as the woman clumsily whipped a folder out of her purse and handed it to Temari with a flourish. "Kakashi told me you would be downtown but I didn't expect to run into you so easily. I was literally just about to call you, what a coincidence!"

"Uh…Kakashi…?" Temari took the folder with a raised eyebrow, as Lee and Shikamaru watched curiously.

"I'm new at the post," Tenten explained brightly, rocking back and forth on her heels. "Today's my first day on the job. Those are my records, just in case."

"Um…Nice to meet you, I guess," Temari said uncertainly, handing the records back to Tenten without looking at them. "Sorry, but I don't really have time to talk."

"Oh, I'm not here just to introduce myself!" Tenten said with a laugh. "I'm here to work for you. I'm your new assistant!"

Temari froze. Lee and Shikamaru watched her as she said slowly, eyes dark, "My _what_?"

Tenten seemed to notice the sudden dangerous aura surrounding her superior, but she forced the smile to stay on her face as she said somewhat nervously, "Yeah, Kakashi thought you'd need some help on your new story since you were assigned it so soon. To check up on Gai in the hospital and see how he's doing, right? I'm already prepared for it! Trust me, you'll be happy to have me—"

"—Hell no."

Tenten paused in mid-sentence, her smile momentarily frozen in confusion on her face. "…Huh?"

Temari heave an annoyed sigh and said stiffly, "I don't know what Kakashi's thinking, but no thanks."

"N…No thanks?" Tenten repeated, seeming bewildered. "Um…But Kakashi gave me orders to—"

"—No thanks," Temari said again, a little louder this time. She turned her back on Tenten and began to walk away, saying over her shoulder, "Thanks for the offer, but you can just go back to Kakashi and tell him that I refuse. I don't _need _an assistant."

Temari got a moment of peace, until Tenten said, voice now losing its peppy edge, "I think you _do_."

Temari stopped and whipped around immediately. She looked Tenten up and down and muttered, slowly and dangerously, "Uh huh. You _do_?"

Tenten winced a bit at the terrifying tone Temari was using, but she didn't back down. "Yes, I do," she said defiantly. "Because I think that you don't need any distractions from the story you're _really_ working on."

Temari blinked in surprise and Tenten smirked. "It's something to do with Gai, right? But not the story Kakashi assigned you. You're working off the books. Am I right?"

Temari frowned. Lee and Shikamaru gazed almost in awe as the two women faced off. "How did you know that?" Temari asked cautiously.

"I do my research," Tenten replied calmly. She grinned. "So. I _am_ right." She walked forwards towards Temari and held out a hand. "How about I cut you a deal?" she said calmly. "I do all the research for you. I go check out Gai at the hospital, I take all the notes and organize them into a story, and give you everything once I'm done. And that way you can just write the story without having to do most of the work, and at the same time be able to focus more completely on…whatever it is you're working on."

Temari eyed Tenten like a hawk. "And you would do this why?"

Tenten shrugged. "Again, when it comes to research, I'm the best. I know you're the best bet for the managerial job at the post. Right now, I'm just an office gopher, but someday I want to be just as good a journalist as you, if not better. So if I can prove to you now that I'm good at what I do, then maybe someday when you're the manager I'll have a better chance at getting a promotion."

"So it's a win-win situation," Temari gathered as she curled a finger to her bottom lip thoughtfully. Tenten nodded cheekily, and Temari smirked. "I like the sound of that." She grabbed Tenten's still-outstretched hand and shook it. "Deal."

Tenten grinned and nodded, braids swinging. "Awesome! I'll call you later, Temari. Got your number from Kakashi so it'll be easy!"

As she bobbed away, Shikamaru shook his head, whistling. "Wow. This town has some weird people in it."

"You're telling me." Temari glowered, then whipped her hair out of her face, stomping one of her feet so hard that Lee twitched in fear. Under her breath she grumbled, "Why the hell does Kakashi think _I_ need an _assistant_? I don't need an assistant! _He_ needs an assistant! He's getting too old to see things for how they really are. Stupid man."

"Um, Temari? Maybe we should just focus on Gai for now?" Lee suggested timidly.

Temari glanced at him and sighed. "Yeah, you're right." She held up the bottle of mystery pills and muttered, "We just have to figure out what to do with these…"

She blinked in surprise when suddenly she felt a palm close around hers.

It was Shikamaru's hand. He was only reaching over to take the pills from her, but she noticed something as he did so that made her heart stop beating momentarily. The ring finger and pinky finger had that scar on it. That scar that told a story. That scar that reminded her of tragedy. That probably made Shikamaru's blood run cold every time he saw it.

When Temari looked at it, for that brief, fleeting second that it was touching her skin, she had to wonder how he could live with it.

But then he took it away and she calmed her nerves while he held up the bottle of pills thoughtfully. "Actually," he said, "I have a friend who can tell us what these pills are."

"You do?" Lee asked, watching Shikamaru hopefully.

"Yeah." He noticed Temari gazing at him and coughed. "I'm not saying that you were right, and these are cyanide," he told her directly. He sighed. "But," he added gloomily, "it _is_ getting clearer that something is not what it seems with this whole Gai situation."

Temari felt herself smile against her will, and Shikamaru seemed to soften slightly at the sight of it. "So we need to dig deeper," he said with a nod in her direction. He smirked.

"And I know just where to go next."

**L U C K Y – G I M M I C K**

} _Continued on Pg A4; Aspiring Assistant Analyzes Arm_


	4. Aspiring Assistant Analyzes Arm

**Author's Note: **Sorry about the wait. Read my journal on deviantArt for answers as to why I've been absent. To those curious, Neji will make his first actual appearance in the end of Chapter Six (that's two chapters away), and then he will have a very large role to play in the story from then on. So be patient, Neji/NejiTen fans. ;)

* * *

><p><strong>[ Aspiring Assistant Analyzes Arm ]<strong>

"…Yuck."

"Oh wow."

"Yes, this is…definitely rotten."

"Why did you _keep it_, Lee?"

Shikamaru, Temari and Lee were standing in Lee's apartment. It was a nice place, with sleek, tiled floors and shiny walls hosting multiple pictures of Lee and who appeared to be Gai grinning out through the glass, proudly hoisting trophies on their shoulders or hanging medals around their necks.

At the moment, the three were in a half-circle around his kitchen counter, where sat a cardboard mug from Starbucks. Inside the mug, as soon as Lee had taken off the lid, escaped a terrible stench of rotten milk, and they could see that the coffee inside had solidified into a cylindrical chocolaty rock.

Lee shrugged, seeming slightly embarrassed by the coffee but saying defensively, "I just figured it could be used as evidence. You know what I'm talking about, Shikamaru."

Temari watched with amusement as Shikamaru grimaced at the stinky, rotten coffee. "Uh…Well, I guess you have the right idea…" he said slowly, seeming a little concerned. But he swallowed his disgust and picked up the mug, holding it out like a deadly spider and covering his nose with a sleeve. "Uh, well either way, so this is the coffee Gai was drinking the day he collapsed, huh?"

"Yes, that's the one," Lee said, nodding eagerly and following with Temari as Shikamaru walked across the kitchen floor thoughtfully.

"Well we're lucky," Shikamaru said. He turned around to face them and held out the coffee conversationally. "You know that guy I told you about, that can figure out what those pills are? He can see if there's something in this as well."

"Something?" Temari repeated, giving him a scornful look and a smirk. "So. You're admitting you think there's cyanide in it, too?"

Shikamaru glowered. "No," he muttered. "I'm just saying we might as well test it while we're testing the pills." He sneered at her, to her insult. "Maybe so I can prove there's nothing in it at all."

"Fine," Temari snapped. "If that's how it is, we'll see who's right, and who's wrong."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Um…" The two glanced at Lee distractedly, and saw him fidgeting anxiously. "Aren't we supposed to be on the same side here?"

"Not necessarily."

"_Yes_ necessarily!"

"And now you two are fighting about fighting…"

"Oh shut up! Men are so obnoxious…"

.

"Thanks again for taking the time out of your busy schedule," Tenten said. She was walking through the hallway of Greenleaf Hospital, where Gai was under observation. A nurse was by her side, middle-aged and according to her badge, named Shizune. She was the registered nurse on duty for Gai's bedside, and from what Tenten knew so far she was in charge of his IV and other bodily functions, and currently leading his recovery.

Shizune smiled politely down at Tenten. "It's no trouble," she said sweetly. "I've always loved the local paper, I'm happy to help you get the word out to the public." She scratched her cheek shyly, and added with an embarrassed smile, "It doesn't hurt I've always looked up to Gai. He helped me lose fifty pounds!"

Tenten let her mouth drop open, examining the woman's body, which was quite nice for her age. "You're kidding!"

"Not at all!" Shizune giggled. "He's an inspiration of mine. Obviously any opportunity in which I can get involved in this terrible tragedy that overcame him I've been taking advantage of." They stopped in front of a room at the end of the hall, and Shizune reached out to slip a paper into a folder outside of it, saying, "We can conduct the interview inside of the room. Although it's not a good idea to be raucous, we try to have gentle conversations around coma patients as much as possible, as sometimes human voices can wake them up."

"Sounds good," Tenten said with a smile, but before Shizune could grasp the door handle, a large sloshing sound interrupted them. They turned to see that an elderly patient who'd been walking down the hallway had spilled a cup of water on the ground.

"Oh, dear," Shizune said as the elderly lady cursed loudly, and another nurse hurried to steer a man in a wheelchair out of the way of the spill. "I'm sorry, would you mind?"

Tenten shook her head, waving at Shizune politely. "No problem, go ahead!"

She watched as Shizune hurried off to assist the situation, and stood casually by the door. As she looked around the hallway to preoccupy herself, she suddenly noticed that the door to Gai's room was not closed; it was cracked, in a way that someone had tried to close it but hadn't done so hard enough, as if they were in a rush.

Tenten, holding a folder to her chest, tried to fight it, but soon enough curiosity got the better of her, and she slowly pushed against the white door to peek inside.

She froze at what she saw.

The room was dimmed, the only light a pale blue glow flooding in through the open windows, where white curtains billowed in the lukewarm breeze. A single bed was illuminated, in it a very muscular man resting propped against pillows. His eyes were closed, hidden beneath thick lashes and shadowed by large, bushy eyebrows. His sharply angled jaw and large nose were tan, but the rest of his face was pale and sickly.

And next to him, was a doctor. He wore the same uniform the rest of the doctors were wearing, but his mouth was covered by a dust mask, and his gloved hands were busy inserting a green needle into the unconscious Gai's arm.

Tenten's eyes grew wide as she saw the doctor give Gai some sort of shot, then recede and slip the needle into his pocket, and settle Gai's thickly muscled arm back into a comfortable position on the bed, hiding it with one of the patient's sheets so that the little droplet of blood seeping from the vein he'd stuck the needle in could not be seen.

Then he began to turn around, and Tenten's heart skipped a beat when she realized she probably shouldn't have seen that. She quickly whipped out of sight before the doctor had turned completely around, and her attention was caught when she saw the old lady across the hall grumbling to herself as Shizune and another nurse mopped up a spill with a rag they'd grabbed from the yellow janitor's cart that had been abandoned in one of the open rooms.

She tried to keep her eyes on the scene, but a chill ran down her side when she heard the door to Gai's room next to her open all the way. She listened, forcing herself not to turn around and look and instead pretend to be interested in the spill across the hall, to the sound of footsteps retreating the other way, around the corner and towards the elevators.

When she could no longer hear the footsteps, Tenten slowly looked over her shoulder. No one was there, only a male nurse sat at the skinny windowsill trying to organize the papers in his folder. She crept along the wall and peered over the corner; the doctor was not in sight.

"Miss?" Tenten flinched in surprise and twisted around, only to be relieved to see Shizune standing there with an expectant smile. "Sorry about that. Shall we get started?"

"No problem whatsoever!" Tenten grinned normally and let Shizune lead her into Gai's room. As they both drew up chairs and took their seats, and Tenten spread the folder out on her lap, she couldn't help but keep glancing at Gai's arm, and notice the speck of red that had stained the sheet it was hidden under.

.

"Huh. I wonder where he is…"

Shikamaru was leaning like an eager child halfway over the front counter of a small clinic he had taken Temari and Lee to. They were in a very neat and clean lobby, where behind they could see a sort of laboratory that resembled, to Temari, a mixture between a pharmacy and a hospital.

"Maybe it's closed today," Lee suggested from his spot resting against the arm of a large comfortable chair.

"If they were closed, why would the door be open?" Temari disagreed. As Shikamaru banged a hand obnoxiously on the counter and shouted, "Hey, Chouji!" back into the laboratory, she walked over to examine a huge, beautiful painting of a field of cosmos and butterflies. At the bottom of the painting's delicate wooden frame there were some words etched in elegant letters. She read them aloud: " 'Commissioned by Sai.'" She paused and gasped. "Sai? _The _Sai?"

Shikamaru, not looking away from the bell on the counter that he began to incessantly ring, said over the annoying sound, "Yeah, he's a friend of Chouji's and mine. We helped solve a case for him a while ago about a stolen painting, and now he gives us discounts on all his commissions."

"But he's the most popular modern artist in the world," Temari said, shaking her head in disbelief. Lee too seemed surprised, as he walked over to the painting and peered at the letters. "That is quite a marvelous connection to have," he agreed.

"I can't believe you actually _know_ him!" Temari continued, staring at Shikamaru.

"I know a lot of people," Shikamaru replied simply, still banging away impatiently at the bell on the counter. "Come on, I know someone's back there!"

"Alright, alright, calm down! Geez!" Shikamaru stopped, and Temari and Lee turned to watch, as a tiny blonde woman came scurrying out of a door in the lab and up to the counter, sweeping her long, glossy blonde hair out of her eyes and stopping to glare at Shikamaru. "Well. Look what the cat dragged in."

"Come on, do I really look like a chew toy?" Shikamaru asked sarcastically. "I think I look sexy."

"You look like a _jackass_."

Temari decided with a grin that she liked this woman as Shikamaru heaved a sigh. "Ino, can you get off your period long enough to go get Chouji?"

Ino smacked his hand at the insult, and as he clutched it with a grimace, and as Temari's grin widened, she said stiffly, "Chouji's not here. He's on his way back from a meeting in Australia. Because, you know, unlike _you_, he actually _communicates_ with other scientists."

Shikamaru punched his palm. "Ah, I thought he'd be back sooner." He looked up at Ino and asked, "Then can _you_ help me out? I need to have some stuff examined."

Ino narrowed her eyes into icy blue slits, and stared at Shikamaru for a few seconds. Then she said loudly, "No."

Shikamaru blinked and slapped his hands down on the counter. "Huh?"

"I said _no_!" Ino snapped, crossing her arms over her perky chest and smirking at Shikamaru victoriously. "I'm _not_ helping _you_ with _anything_."

Shikamaru groaned and stared up at the ceiling for a few seconds in which Lee and Temari watched Ino savor his defeat. Then he looked down and muttered, "Still mad at me then, huh?"

Ino suddenly dropped her professional demeanor and cried out furiously, "You _skipped_ my _wedding_!"

"Yes, yes…"

"Of _course_ I'm mad at you for that!"

"Well it wasn't _my_ fault," Shikamaru reminded her calmly, gesturing to himself defensively. "I was unconscious, remember?"

"You were the best man!"

"I was handcuffed to a train."

"We had to stall for half an hour before we had to go on without you!"

"In _Texas_."

"That doesn't _matter_!" Ino slammed her fist down on the counter and hissed, "The three of us have been best friends since childhood, and for you to not even stand up at our wedding…Well _I _got over it because I _know_ you're not worth the grief, but Chouji…You broke his heart!"

"_He_ forgave me," Shikamaru insisted, "And I thought you would've too by now. I mean how many times have I told you? Some guy was trying to kill me, I think that's a good enough excuse. Don't you?"

"Oh of course Chouji forgave you, Chouji's a pussy."

"What a way to address your own husband."

"You skipped my wedding, you can't patronize me."

"Again; Handcuffs. Train. _Texas_."

Ino groaned and leaned on her elbows on the counter. Blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes and grumbled, "_Fine_. What do you need?"

Shikamaru heaved a huge sigh of relief and waved Lee over. Lee handed him the bottle of pills and a plastic bag, and Shikamaru set the bottle down, then took the rock-hard coffee out of the bag and set it next to the bottle.

Ino immediately cringed back from the cup, making a face. "Ugh! That's nasty."

"Tell me about it," Shikamaru said, obviously trying to hold his breath. "But basically, I need you to tell me what these pills are, and figure out if there's anything…'out of the ordinary' in this coffee." He gave Temari a mocking look at the last couple words, and she just sneered back at him.

She inched forwards though, as did Lee, when Ino opened up the bottle of pills immediately, and held one of the pills up to the light. It was white, and from the sound it made when she tapped it with her fingernail, it was thick. She frowned and turned back to Shikamaru. "Well this isn't anything out of the ordinary." She set the pills back and glared at Shikamaru suspiciously. "What kind of case are you working? Is it dangerous? You know Chouji and I don't like you doing these dangerous cases."

"All my cases are dangerous," Shikamaru muttered. "Anyways, so if the pill isn't anything bad, then what is it?"

"It's just common variety acetylsalicylic acid," Ino responded shortly with a shrug.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Aspirin?"

"Yup, just aspirin," she confirmed with a nod.

Temari felt her heart sink. She didn't know exactly what she'd been expecting, but for some reason she felt like she'd lost a race. As Shikamaru gave her a slightly victorious glance, she felt like this was somehow very anti-climactic. "It's just aspirin…" she repeated with a frown, a finger curled beneath her bottom lip. "But why was the label ripped off?"

"Maybe it fell off, or was scraped off, or the guy who owned the bottle was just bored," Shikamaru drawled. "Doesn't matter." He shoved now the cardboard cup of coffee towards Ino, who gave it a disgusted look. "Now what can you tell me about this?"

Ino picked it up gingerly and grimaced. "I have no idea. I'll have to run it through the lab, and I'll ask Chouji to confirm it for me just in case. But so far, all I can tell you is that it's a rotten coffee."

"Alright, well will you get back to me when you guys are finished with it?" Shikamaru asked as he took the pills back and put them into his pocket.

"As usual," Ino said brightly, holding up the coffee to the light. She smiled to Temari and Lee. "You two, I'm assuming you hired him for this case?"

"More like annoyed me into it," Shikamaru muttered.

Temari, trying to get over the disappointment of the pills, shrugged. "Not going to deny that. At least it worked."

"Are you from the Police Department?"

Temari laughed. "No, more like regular citizens who want to get promotions."

Ino giggled. "That's how we all start out."

"Okay, okay, well thanks Ino," Shikamaru said loudly, turning to leave. "Call me about the coffee."

"Wait!" Shikamaru paused as Ino leaned against the counter with a sunny smile. "Chouji should be coming back tonight, if all goes well. Why don't you come over so we can make dinner to welcome him home? I'm sure he'd love to see you, and we could make that lasagna we used to make him every year for his birthday."

Shikamaru shrugged distractedly. "Can't. I have a meeting at the station tonight."

Ino looked forlorn. "Oh," she said, obviously disappointed. "Chouji would've been so happy to see you."

Shikamaru seemed to regret his words as soon as he saw the sad look on Ino's face, and, irritated rubbed his neck. "Tell him to text me when he comes back or something."

"I guess he'll be glad with that…" Ino said with a sigh. "Bye, then."

Shikamaru said nothing as he left the office, and Temari had to force back to the urge to hug the blonde as she waved goodbye and followed him with Lee.

As the two caught up to Shikamaru outside in the blinding sunlight, Temari said briskly, "Hey, hold on a second."

"Great, now what?" Shikamaru muttered unenthusiastically, removing some sunglasses from his pocket and shielding his eyes from the sun with them.

"You lied to her," Temari accused immediately.

Lee gasped, staring at Temari. "Temari, now, now, don't jump to conclusions."

"No, she's right, I lied to her."

"Oh." Lee paused, then, "Shikamaru, how _could_ you?"

Shikamaru groaned and stopped at the crosswalk leading to the parking lot. He turned to face them, and although the sun was blaring in Temari's eyes she stared back at him without flinching. "How'd you figure it out?" he asked.

"You agreed to meet us without mentioning a limit on time," she said. "If you really had a meeting, you would have told us at what time you had to be finished with us."

Shikamaru sighed. "Alright, so I lied about the meeting tonight. I don't actually have one," he admitted stiffly. "And yes, it was a dick move. I know. But I do that a lot, okay? If you guys want to work with me here, then just take that into account; I am a liar."

"I don't care about that," Temari said, brushing it off, even though Lee looked immensely hurt. "What I want to know is _why_ you lied."

Shikamaru shrugged, and took a step forward as the light changed to let him walk. "I prefer to be alone." Turning around, he said over his shoulder as he walked away, "That being said, there's nothing more we can do today. So leave me alone."

As Temari and Lee stood at the crosswalk, watching him walking away, Lee eyed Temari's hands. "Um, Temari…? Why are you punching your thigh?"

"Because I want to punch _him_," Temari said through gritted teeth.

.

"Excuse me," Tenten piped up as she slipped past a nurse towards the open sink. She was in the restroom of the hospital, getting ready to leave. The interview hadn't gone as well as she thought it would, as Shizune was rather modest, and only seemed intent on talking about how she lost fifty pounds instead of Gai's recovery. But Tenten was nonetheless pleased on the information she'd gathered. For her first interview on the job, she was sure she'd done some great work.

She set her sunglasses down on the counter above the sink next to a little pot of pauperize and fake flowers, and as she washed her hands she glanced next to her at the nurse who was still in the bathroom. She was texting in one hand as she dried the other with some paper towel.

"Excuse me," Tenten said suddenly, remembering something.

The nurse glanced over at her kindly. "Can I help you with something?"

"I just have a question," Tenten said as she turned off the sink and grabbed some paper towel. "Generally, are coma patients supposed to be getting any regular injections or anything like that?"

Tossing her used paper towel away, the nurse frowned. "No, I don't think so. If the patient is _just_ in a coma, then they shouldn't be getting anything but IV."

Tenten narrowed her eyes, throwing away her paper towel as well. As she grabbed her purse and the two ladies began to exit the bathroom at a respectable distance from each other, the nurse paused. "Why do you ask?" she queried.

Tenten shook her head, preoccupied. "No reason," she said quietly. "Just curious."

**L U C K Y – G I M M I C K**

} _Continued on Pg A5; Open Book Reveals Secrets_


	5. Open Book Reveals Secrets

**Author's Note: **Neji makes his first appearance next chapter! For now, we've gotten to the part of the story where it gets _really_ interesting. So enjoy! :)

* * *

><p><strong>[ Open Book Reveals Secrets ]<strong>

The next morning, Shikamaru opened his eyes to see what appeared to be words, scribbled across a page. He was far too groggy to read them, only awake enough to realize he must have fallen asleep reading, because a book was currently lying open on his face.

Now for the reason why he'd woken up in the first place, he had no clue. He was quite a heavy sleeper, so the fact that he'd awaken so abruptly had to be for a reason.

Which, in a second, he realized, as a feminine voice far away to his right said, "Wow."

He blinked and lifted up a corner of the book, wincing at the sunlight. While he dragged the book away, he sat up slowly to glare at Temari, who was standing in the open doorway of his house, smirking in on the scene of the spacious living room he was now lying in on his comfortable black couch.

"Had a nice sleep, crybaby?" she asked condescendingly.

Shikamaru groaned and collapsed into a sulking sitting position back into the cushions of his couch. "How the hell did you get into my house? I have top notch securi-Oh I left the door open didn't I…"

Temari nodded in confirmation, snickering as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. "Wow, for someone so concerned about his own safety you're doing a pretty terrible job controlling your own house."

"I had a busy night last night," Shikamaru muttered, dog-earing his book and setting it aside. "I was running back and forth with Naruto to get supplies and I even fell asleep doing work…Ah, I have, like, fifty equations to solve, and in a week…Damn."

"Equations? For what?" Temari asked curiously. "And who's Naruto?"

Shikamaru gave her a disapproving look. "The real question is, why are you in my house at ass in the morning?"

Temari frowned. "I've been thinking…"

"Oh, no." Shikamaru stood up, and Temari glared at him. "Excuse me—" she began, but Shikamaru interrupted her to say, "Yeah, yeah, I'm listening, I'm listening, I'm just getting coffee, okay? You can keep talking while I make it, yeah?"

Temari glowered, but let him walk through the doorway into the kitchen, following him in. As he stroked his face, feeling the need to shave, he looked out of the corner of his eye to see her gazing around with a slightly awed expression, and for some reason felt slightly accomplished that his house could give her that expression.

"You're very, um…" Temari started as they walked into the kitchen.

"Organized?" Shikamaru guessed. He watched her eyes travel from the perfectly maintained countertops of the large circular kitchen to the gleaming glass windows, then over to the appliances that were all unplugged for the night, and the sparkling floors.

"More like totally spotless," Temari corrected him, seeming very impressed with the beautiful kitchen. "You like things to be clean, huh?"

"I don't like clutter," Shikamaru answered shortly as he plugged in the coffee pot and went to get water for it. "So? What do you want? Hurry up so I can kick you out."

He briefly acknowledged Temari's glare before continuing with his coffee, to listen as she said, "Well as I said, I've been thinking about those pills."

"You mean those perfectly harmless, absolutely not suspicious in any way, aspirin pills?" Shikamaru muttered unenthusiastically as he poured water into the pot and started it.

Temari scoffed. "Yes, _those_, and they may not exactly be harmless. What if—"

"—Oh no, not a what if," Shikamaru whispered.

Temari ignored his interruption this time, and inside he was slightly disappointed; then he wondered why he was disappointed. "_What if_," Temari said again, louder this time, "somebody _switched_ the Aspirin with cyanide capsules?"

Shikamaru groaned. "You're still on about the cyanide?" he asked exasperatedly as he leaned against the counter in front of the slowly brewing coffee pot.

"Well think about it!" Temari insisted. "Say Gai used Aspirin, and someone working at Starbucks had access to his bottle of pills? Maybe they had cyanide, and switched Gai's bottle of Aspirin with their bottle of cyanide?"

Shikamaru gave her a dark look. "Are you kidding me?" he grumbled. "That is _way_ too complex. Who would go to all that effort just to try and kill Gai? And _why_?"

"Well that's what _you're _supposed to be trying to figure out, isn't it?" Temari snapped, her hands on her hips.

Shikamaru heaved a sigh. "Alright," he said slowly. "Well, if that's your theory, then there's only one way to figure out if it's true or not." Temari raised a brow, and Shikamaru gestured at her impatiently. "Call Lee, and ask if Gai ever took Aspirin or not."

Temari blinked. "Oh! Good idea."

"Of course it's a good idea, I'm brilliant," Shikamaru said with a shrug. Temari ignored this as she took her phone out of her purse and searched through her contacts.

As Shikamaru watched her dialing and put the phone to her ear, he could not deny his urge to observe her body. So he did. His eyes traveled up her legs, and he laughed to himself silently; he could remember admiring those legs back in High School. It was a shame someone with such a terrible personality was trapped inside such a nice body.

A second later he nearly hit himself. What was he doing? He sounded like a lonely, sexist douche bag. He shouldn't be acting like he didn't get laid. It wasn't like he didn't. He went to the bar often enough to get a one night stand about once a month. Besides, with his reputation and looks, he knew as well as anyone else did that he could get into women's pants whenever he wanted. Men too, if he ever felt like experimenting, which frankly he wasn't looking forward to but decided if he was drunk enough then _possibly…_

"Oh, hi Lee."

Shikamaru shook himself out of his idiotic thoughts to focus on Temari speaking into the phone. She was nodding impatiently, saying, "Yes, yes, good morning to you too…Yes, I'm fine…Hey, listen, Lee, I have a question about Gai." Shikamaru straightened up against the counter, watching as Temari said, "Yeah, so here's my question. Did Gai ever take aspirin?"

There was a pause, before Temari made a face. "Huh?" she said. "Oh come on."

"What's he saying?" Shikamaru cut in.

Temari looked up from the phone with a glum expression. "Apparently Gai 'didn't believe in taking pain medication'…"

Shikamaru turned when he heard the coffee pot beep, and went to get a mug, saying distractedly, "Well, that proves your theory wrong then, doesn't it? The aspirin probably belonged to some poor guy that got headaches from working at the stupid joint. Not that I blame him."

He removed a mug from the cabinet and turned around to face Temari. She looked uncertain. "I don't know…" she said slowly. "For some reason that bottle just looked really suspicious to me."

Shikamaru frowned. "Well, until we get the results back from the coffee that Chouji's looking at, we can't really do anything else."

Temari sighed. "You have a point," she admitted, defeated. She turned back to her phone. "No, never mind, Lee. It's nothing…Huh? Yeah, sure." As Shikamaru poured himself some coffee, Temari faced him, holding up her phone. "Hey, Lee and I are getting breakfast. Are you joining us?"

Shikamaru raised a brow. "Um, no," he said, turning back to his coffee stiffly.

He heard Temari scoff over his shoulder. "You know, you have to leave your house _some_time."

"I do," he said. "To get my pay check." Finished with pouring his coffee, he turned around to point at the door. "Why don't _you_ leave my house _for_ me?" he offered sarcastically.

Temari gave him a glare. "My pleasure."

.

"It's _astounding _how terrible he can be!"

"Um…Well I'm sure he doesn't mean to—"

"—He's an asshole, a total douche bag."

"Well, he's not _that_ bad, is he?"

"I can't believe he hasn't grown up _at all_!" Temari slammed her glass of orange juice down on the small table she and Lee were sharing, watching bitterly as the liquid sloshed over the sides and splashed down on the paper tablecloth.

Across the table, Lee was watching her warily, and he laughed nervously. "You sure talk about him a lot."

"What?" Temari blinked in surprise. She coughed. "Well…I mean, no, I don't, but I just…I'm just pissed at him, is all!"

Lee said through a mouthful of bacon, "You two knew each other before this, you said. High School or college?"

"High School," Temari answered shortly. She was thoroughly embarrassed now that she realized Lee was right, and she was talking about the lazy asshole way too much for her liking.

"Ah," Lee watched her curiously as he chewed. "You two fight a lot, too. Did something _happen_ in High School?"

Temari rested her elbow on the table, sighing. "…Yes," she admitted against her wishes.

"Did you get in a fight?"

"More than that, but yeah."

"Over what?"

Temari looked up at Lee, and felt, suddenly, a tug in her gut that she didn't like. She opened her mouth, but suddenly, she was interrupted by her phone in her purse on her lap, vibrating. She reached into her purse and answered it quickly, fearing it was Kakashi asking how her story was coming.

"Hello?"

"_Hello Temari!"_ Temari sighed in relief hearing not her boss's, but the familiar high-pitched tone of her new 'assistant' Tenten's voice.

"Tenten. What is it?" she asked as Lee continued to chow on his bacon.

Tenten sounded very proud of herself as she replied through the phone: _"You'll be pleased to know that I spent all yesterday getting the interviews and data, and spent all night gathering and organizing it to make it easier to make a story. I even put them into a timeline, in case you want to use it."_

Temari blinked in surprise. Although unenthusiastic, she had to admit this was pretty good. "Wow, Tenten," she admitted, "that's pretty unexpectedly impressive."

"_Hah, well," _Tenten flaunted from the other side of the line, _"you can't judge a book by its cover."_

"Mhm, guess you can't," Temari said slowly. "So, did you remember to…"

Lee looked up as suddenly Temari's voice faded away, her whole body freezing. Her mind was suddenly whirring crazily, and she adrenaline snap to a start.

It was just a saying. Nothing Tenten meant literally. But for some reason, Temari was suddenly taking those words to heart.

"_Hello? You there?"_

She snapped her phone shut, not caring that she'd hung up on Tenten. She jumped to her feet, grabbing her sunglasses and purse and flinging the chair back. "Sorry, I'm going to have to cut lunch short today Lee," she cried as she swung out from behind the table.

Lee blinked in shock, standing up and waving a fork at her. "What? But wait, what about the bill?"

"Oh, you're paying for me? Great, thanks!"

"Huh? No, I never said that!"

"Thanks again, I'll see you soon Lee!" Temari flung her sunglasses onto her face, pushing place a rather surprised hostess and leaving through the front doors of the small diner, stepping into the brilliant sunlight with a grin on her face.

.

"I am _not _having a good day," Tenten muttered to herself.

She was back in the same hospital that she'd been in the day before, to retrieve her sunglasses. She could remember, as she walked through the hallways briskly, exactly where she'd placed them last; on the sink in the bathroom. She'd forgotten them there because she was too busy questioning the nurse about Gai.

Remembering Gai, she realized she was walking down the hallway to his room, and attentively decided to poke her head in to see how he was doing while she was here, to show her respects. It wasn't like she was in a rush or anything.

However, as she neared the room, she was caught by surprise.

She nearly stopped in her tracks when she saw the same doctor with the covered face from the day before, exiting Gai's room. She spotted a flash of green, and saw that there was a green needle in his hand, just like the day before.

She frowned, and watched as he turned the corner to walk away. She stopped by Gai's open door, and peeked her head in.

There he was, in the same position as the day before. Lying in his bed, unconscious and hooked up to nothing but an IV. She frowned curiously and turned around to see another doctor, this one without his face covered up, strolling down the hallway. He seemed not to be in a rush either, so she quickly stepped into the middle of the hallway, holding out her hand to get his attention.

"Excuse me," she called. The doctor blinked and smiled kindly, stepping over to listen to her.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, um…" Tenten pointed to Gai's open room. "That's Gai, right?"

The doctor tilted his head to the side. "Um, yes. Why, are you a relative?"

"Uh, yeah, I am," Tenten lied quickly. "Can I ask, how is he doing?"

The doctor smiled reassuringly. "Oh, he's going to be fine. His body is still reprograming itself, trying to flush out all the poison. His recovery may take a month at most, but he'll come to eventually."

"So, he's still in a coma then," Tenten gathered slowly.

"Well, yes. Nothing's changed," the doctor confirmed.

"And nothing else."

"No, nothing else."

Tenten narrowed her eyebrows. "So he shouldn't be getting any injections or anything like that?"

The doctor raised a brow. "No, of course not. We don't give patients anything other than IV when they're in a coma."

Tenten's mind whirled. She thanked the doctor for his time and moved on to the office that the main desk had directed her towards where she may find her sunglasses. But she wasn't concerned about her accessory anymore. She was trying to work past her feelings of confusion and concern in her head.

As she walked, she passed yet another open door. She stopped by it, to see a janitor suddenly exiting it. He was pushing his big yellow janitor's cart, and walking over to the windows at the very end of the hall, to clean them.

Tenten glanced up and down the hall, keeping an eye particularly on the janitor, to make sure no one was looking. Then she very carefully slipped in through the open door into the supply closet.

She pushed passed pairs of scrubs, mops, clean white cloths and a bucket full of dirty ones, piles of boxes of tissue, and a whole shelf of sanitary gloves, 'till she found what she was looking for; a shelf dedicated entirely to clean, unused needles.

Tenten felt her lips part.

The boxes containing needles were made of plastic, and they were clear so she was able to see through them at the contents. And she could make out even in the dim lighting of the storage closet, the color of the needles. Red, not green.

.

"I still don't see why we're double-checking, Temari," Shikamaru complained.

Temari ignored Shikamaru as she pulled him along by the wrist, acknowledging him only to say, "Shut up and move," as her other hand tightened on the bottle of aspirin.

They were walking up the sidewalk towards the clinic where Ino worked, yet again. Temari had driven to Shikamaru's house in a hurry only to yank him out of it, throw him in the car, and drive them all the way to the scientist's clinic, giving him only enough information so that he knew they were coming back to double-check the pills they'd checked the day before.

As they stomped through the front doors, Shikamaru grumbled, "You are really lucky I don't hit girls, before Temari stepped up to the front counter.

This time they didn't have to wait, for Ino was already there with a man, the two of them going through piles of paper.

The man grinned when he looked up and spotted Shikamaru, saying brightly in a gruff, sunny voice, "You!"

Temari noticed that Shikamaru, despite being annoyed, seem to brighten up just a bit at the sight of this man, saying with a small smirk, "Hey Chouji."

Chouji came around the counter to clap a rather giant hand on Shikamaru's shoulder. "Thanks for the text! I was happy to get it, at one in the morning and all."

"Oh give me a break, I had a lot of work to do last night," Shikamaru groaned, massaging the back of his neck, but smiling exasperatedly. "How was Australia?"

"Really hot," Chouji said, shaking his head like a wet dog. He grinned. "So what are you here for?" He spotted Temari and his grin widened. "Came to show off your new girlfriend?"

"No, we're not in a relationship."

"We are definitely not in a relationship."

"Never."

"We're not even having sex."

"Never ever having sex."

"Not if he was the last man on earth."

"Yeah, not in…oh come on, really?"

Temari blinked and sighed. "Okay, maybe if there weren't any _women_ either."

"Yes, because if I was the only surviving male of an apocalypse there would totally be an abundance of women besides you, wouldn't there? You know, if that were the case, I wouldn't have a reason to complain."

"Um…" Temari almost had to bite her tongue to cut back her retort as she and Shikamaru both forced themselves to stop as Chouji cut in. "So…" he said with an awkward laugh. "If that's not it, then what _are _you two doing here? I'm already working on the coffee, it'll be another couple hours."

"It's not for the coffee, it's for the pills again," Shikamaru said, as Temari nodded and held up the bottle. "Although why, I have no idea…"

"The pills?" Ino crossed from behind the counter as well, confronting Temari and the two men. "But I checked those yesterday. Why do you need to check them again?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Shikamaru muttered. He faced Temari. "Come on, give up, this is a wild goose chase."

Chouji let out a booming laugh. "Shikamaru, don't be a douche bag. She's a pretty lady, give her some respect." Temari smirked at a quietly grumbling Shikamaru as Chouji reached forwards to take the pill bottle gently from Temari's hand. "I can check this again for you, it's not a problem. Sometimes we miss things the first time around, it's actually a good idea to reopen some cases now and then."

Temari smiled gratefully as Chouji walked over to the counter, opening the pill bottle and emptying out one of the pills into his palm. Shikamaru, Temari and Ino watched intensely as Chouji held up a pill to the light above his head, shaking it once.

He frowned, and looked up at Ino. "Hey babe, what did you say this was supposed to be?"

"Aspirin," Ino replied easily. "Why? Was I wrong?"

Chouji looked back at the pill, focusing. "Well, you were right to _think_ it was aspirin. But it's not."

Shikamaru's eyes widened, and Temari felt her heart skip a beat in excitement. "It isn't?" Temari asked gleefully, taking a step forward.

"Then what is it?" Shikamaru asked.

Chouji broke the pill open, and shook some light blue powder out onto the counter. His eyes widened in surprise. "Uh…Well, it's _sort _of a pain medication." He looked up at the three in the lobby. "It was disguised as aspirin the outside, but you can't change the inside of a pill that easily. And I've only seen this consistency in one kind of pill."

"What pill?" Shikamaru insisted.

Chouji shrugged. "Steroid pills."

The whole room was silent. Temari blinked in surprise, and her bubble of hope slowly sunk back down into her chest. For a second, she didn't know how to feel; triumphant, or disappointed.

But at that moment her emotions were put on hold, because everyone in the room turned to face her when the sound of her phone buzzing interrupted the silence. She reached into her purse to pull out her cell, to see Tenten's number on it. She glanced up at the other three, then slowly answered her phone. "What is it, Tenten?" she asked.

"_Temari." _She was slightly surprised to hear the usual cheerful voice of Tenten replaced with a serious air. _"I think you should know that there is way more to this Gai case than you know."_

Temari let out a breathy, nervous laugh. "You're telling me."

"_Yeah, well, whatever it is you're doing…" _Temari felt, for some reason, a small smile growing on her face as Tenten said from the other side of the line, _"I want in."_

Her smile kept growing. She didn't care how she was supposed to feel. Triumphant, disappointed, or not, she was excited either way. Because she could see it on Shikamaru's face; intense, immense curiosity.

And she knew almost better than anyone that he couldn't deny his urges.

**L U C K Y – G I M M I C K**

} _Continued on Pg A6; Insane Relative Mourns Businessman_


	6. Insane Relative Mourns Businessman

**Author's Note: **And FINALLY, Neji arrives…at the end of the chapter. :D TROLOLOLOLO. Anyways, this chapter is very Tenten-centric, so you're going to get the chance to see her in action. And trust me, she is going to impress the fuck out of you. XD Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>[ Insane Relative Mourns Businessman ]<strong>

Tenten really didn't waste any time, Temari now knew.

She, Shikamaru and Lee had only just stepped foot in the door of Gai's hospital room, when Tenten immediately came swooping over, a notebook held tightly in her arms, and began to talk: "Okay, Temari and friends, so…Hey, who are you?" Tenten paused when she caught sight of Lee, who was gazing at Gai with a look of intense longing.

Lee glanced up at Tenten and, to her surprise, saluted her. "I am Rock Lee, at your service!"

"…Oh," Tenten said unenthusiastically. As Lee swept past her over to Gai's hospital bed, Tenten turned to Temari and whispered, "So that interview you gave me with him. That was actually _real_, huh?"

Temari nodded slowly. "Yeah, sorry, we had to bring him so we could use the excuse that we're visiting Gai with him."

"Good idea." Tenten smirked and faced Temari and Shikamaru full on. "So! Do you want to know what I've found out?"

"Not particularly, but apparently I have no choice," Shikamaru muttered.

Temari glared at him, then turned to Tenten expectantly. "Go on."

Tenten, sparing Shikamaru a confused glanced, nodded and did so: "Well, I've been interviewing nurses for you Temari, and I ended up noticing that there was a doctor coming in giving Gai injections. But I asked _two _people who know what they're doing here, and they _both_ said that he shouldn't be getting any!"

Temari raised a brow. "That _is_ weird," she said.

Tenten, however, was shaking her head, a grin on her face. "No, but that's not even the best part!" she said eagerly. "The needle that the doctor was using was _green_."

"Um…So what?" Temari asked.

"That's not the right color," Shikamaru explained suddenly, before Tenten could. "The needles they use at this hospital are red."

Tenten blinked at Shikamaru curiously. "…That's right…!" she said slowly, seeming impressed. "How did _you_ know that though?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I'm brilliant."

Temari rolled her eyes at this, but Tenten's mouth dropped open. She suddenly jumped once on the spot, making both Shikamaru and Temari twitch in surprise as Tenten pointed rudely at Shikamaru's face. "You!" she said.

"…Me...?" Shikamaru said awkwardly, staring at the tip of her finger like it was a weapon.

"I know who you are!" Tenten declared, excited. "You're that Shikamaru Nara guy!"

"…Yes…?" Shikamaru said slowly.

Tenten let out a strange, strangled squeak that made Shikamaru seem to feel very uncomfortable, and then the brunette elbowed Temari painfully in the ribs. "You didn't tell me you're a friend of a celebrity!"

"I'm not his friend."

"I'm not a celebrity."

Tenten ignored them, apparently star-struck, and frowned when she noticed Shikamaru's hand. "Hey, wait a minute…" She pointed at Shikamaru's hand, which he held up, confused. "Is that hand thing a myth? I thought you cut your fingers off!"

Temari went silent, and automatically felt nervous. But Shikamaru was not phased, and only shrugged, lifting his hand into the air. "No, it's not a myth, I actually cut half my hand off."

Lee, who was eavesdropping, suddenly gasped and walked over, with Tenten, to gaze with huge eyes at Shikamaru's hand, who was glowering at the unwanted attention. "Wow!" Lee said, in awe. "Did it hurt?"

Tenten stared at Lee in surprise, and Shikamaru gave him a look. Finally he said lightly, voice dripping with sarcasm, "_No_. In fact, it felt _good_. It felt better than _sex_."

Tenten snickered, but Lee backed away and scoffed. "That's a lie," he said.

"Yeah," Tenten said with a grin. "Nothing feels better than sex."

"Okay, aren't we dancing around the subject a bit here?" Temari said loudly. She turned to Tenten, and held out the bottle of pills from before. "These were found at the Starbucks Lee and Gai went to the day Gai apparently attempted suicide," she said, businesslike, giving Tenten some time to compose herself attentively. "They're steroid pills."

Lee suddenly seemed very interested, and Tenten scratched her head, confused. "Wait. Steroid pills? For who?"

"We don't know," Temari said. "But they were disguised as aspirin."

"Weird." Tenten suddenly took out her phone, and Temari turned to Shikamaru, noticing that he was walking over to Gai. "Do you see anything?" Temari asked as Shikamaru reached forwards and gently grasped Gai's arm, lifting it out from underneath the thin white sheet.

"I see the puncture wound," Shikamaru said distractedly, turning Gai's arm over to gesture to a small red dot on the man's muscular arm. "From the needle. It wasn't very cleanly done, whoever was injecting him with something. In fact, it's really sloppy…Really unprofessional."

"So we're looking at someone who was in a hurry, and who doesn't really know what they're doing," Temari gathered. "So it can't be a doctor or a nurse. Someone's pretending to be one."

Shikamaru looked up at her and nodded. "Pretty much," he said as he put back Gai's arm under the sheet. The sleeping man did not stir. "For now," Shikamaru continued, stepping back to observe Gai with Temari, "We have to figure out if the steroid pills have anything to do with this case."

"Tenten is one step ahead of you." Shikamaru and Temari twisted around to see Lee bending over Tenten's shoulder, pointing to the phone in Tenten's hand.

Tenten glanced up and shrugged. "I've got 4G," she explained, waving her phone in the air. "I just Google'd where we can find the closest steroid pill providers in town."

"Already?" Shikamaru asked, seeming impressed. Tenten nodded, and Shikamaru gave a little laugh. "I like you!" he said cheerfully. Tenten beamed.

Suddenly a ringing sound echoed around the room, and Shikamaru snatched his phone up to answer it. "Hey Chouji," he said calmly. He paused. "Um, okay? Sure, be right there. Yeah, see ya."

As he hung up and placed his phone back in his pocket, Temari grinned. "Is it Chouji? Did he find something in the coffee?"

Shikamaru was stroking his chin, seeming confused. "Yeah…And he sounded really worried." He sighed. "Alright, well you and me better go back there and see what it is," he said to Temari. He turned to Tenten, who was trying to stop Lee from breathing down the back of her neck. "Do you have the address of the steroid's place?"

"Yup," Tenten replied, pushing Lee off of her back. "There's only one place in town that provides steroid pills, and it's close-by."

"Alright, then you and Lee go check it out," Shikamaru ordered. "Call Temari if you find anything."

"Me and…this guy…?" Tenten gave Lee an exasperated look.

"You could always go by yourself and be lonely," Temari offered.

Tenten glowered. "Okay, but you're driving, Mister Lee."

"Yes ma'am!"

Shikamaru couldn't help but share a little smirk with Temari as the four exited the room. But before they got far down the hall, Shikamaru's smile went away for a look of surprise. "Sai?"

The four watched as the pale man in the janitor's uniform turned around. He'd been scrubbing some scuff marks off the shoe molding, but now he stood to face them, and gave a thin, forced-looking smile at the sight of Shikamaru. "Look who it is, it's the asshole! It's been a long time."

"Wait, wait…" Temari said slowly, gazing up at Sai, who walked over to shake a still rather shocked-looking Shikamaru's hand. "Sai? As in _the_ Sai?"

Sai grinned when he heard his name and turned to Temari. "You've heard of me!"

"Y…Yeah, you're, like, the greatest modern artists of all time," she said, gaping at him. "I have two of your works!" She glanced at Shikamaru and muttered, "Do you know _everybody_?"

"Sai…" Shikamaru said, ignoring Temari. "Sorry, but what the hell are you doing here? Are you seriously a janitor?"

Sai laughed and shook his head. "Oh, this is just a temporary gig!" Sai said. "I'm trying to find my calling. I'm getting to a real breakthrough!"

"So…you're a janitor now…?" Shikamaru said uncertainly, eyeing the uniform in distaste.

Sai shrugged. "I'm also a carpenter's assistant and an insurance agent. I'm trying to see life from a regular laborer's point of view."

"And that's artistic, is it?" Shikamaru asked doubtfully.

"It is!" Sai confirmed. He smirked as his eye caught on Temari. "And who's this? Your new girlfriend? Wow, you got a good one this time Shikamaru."

"Not his girlfriend."

"Not my girlfriend."

As Shikamaru and Temari glowered, Sai clapped his hands together and glanced around. "Listen, I don't have much time to talk. The wax I use to clean the floors has gone missing so I've been mopping like crazy, which takes a lot of time." He smiled at Shikamaru. "It was nice to see you, asshole."

"Uh, yeah, you too…asshole…" Temari stifled her confusion as Shikamaru awkwardly waved Sai away. But Tenten suddenly piped up from behind Shikamaru, "Hey, wait!" Sai stopped and glanced over his shoulder. Tenten pushed Shikamaru aside and said eagerly, "Just one question: If you're a janitor, have you been working here the past couple days?"

Sai turned politely to Tenten. "Yes, I have."

Tenten gasped. "Then have you seen a strange doctor with his face covered coming out of that hospital room over there?"

Sai raised a brow. "Actually, yes!" he said, seeming surprised. Tenten grinned, and Shikamaru took a step forward, interested.

"Does he ever go in a certain direction?" Shikamaru asked curiously.

Sai nodded, pointing his thumb back over his shoulder. "Yeah, he always goes down that hallway, and into the men's restroom. Every time I've seen him, the same direction."

Shikamaru nodded slowly as Tenten, apparently feeling victorious, punched her palm eagerly. "Alright, well thanks, Sai." He turned to the other three. "Come on, we're losing daylight."

.

"Dude…Do you have a mental problem…?"

Tenten stared down at the man who was lying painfully on the ground, wincing. They were inside a large building filled with glass dividers, a large and brightly-lit ceiling, and many huge, towering windows that allowed the sunlight to flow in, casting rays of gold on the posters and bulletin boards that speckled the walls of the lobby.

The tiled floors, gleaming in the light, were apparently freshly cleaned, and Lee had slipped and fallen on them, making quite a ruckus of himself.

"I do not have a mental issue, I'm just…very clumsy…" Lee said sadly, accepting Tenten's hand up. He took his steps carefully from now on, and Tenten rolled her eyes as she faced the front desk. The woman behind it was giving them a strange look, the same look that the rest of the sales team were giving her as they distractedly glanced up from their desks to raise brows at the two that had made such an obnoxious entrance.

But Tenten strode up to the desk with confidence nonetheless. She'd already figured this place out. It was the only office in town that sold steroid pills, and apparently, from what she'd already learned by looking around, they only sold them by phone and computer.

They were also very obsessed with brainwashing young people, Tenten added to her collection of knowledge bitterly, noticing posters of perfectly chisel-chested young men and freshly toned girls plastered everywhere, on the backs of desks and doors.

So when she reached the front desk with a cautious Lee, she was happy to return the secretary's dirty look with a sneer of her own. "Hi," she said in a sickly-sweet voice that made the secretary visually cringe. "I was wondering if you could help me out, I need—"

"—Sorry, if you want to talk to anyone in person you need to make an appointment," the secretary immediately interrupted, with a haughty smirk on her face that made Tenten's blood boil.

"But I just need to—"

"—Appointment-only, no walk-in's," the secretary said, louder this time, and she pointed to the back of her desk where her words were copied in big, bold letters on a piece of paper.

Tenten glowered and turned away with Lee, grasping him by the arm and pulling him with her as they stopped by the wall. Lee was glancing this way and that, seeming very nervous. "Miss Tenten, I don't think this is any use," he said in a whisper.

"Don't call me Miss as if you can already tell I'm single," Tenten retorted in a hiss. "And what do you mean? By researching in on this place, we can find why the steroid pills were at the Starbucks on the day Gai was sent into a coma, and see if they have anything to do with the case."

"I don't think they're of any importance," Lee insisted breathily. "People are staring, I think we should go."

Tenten frowned and turned to look over her shoulder. The sales men and women who had been staring at them, all apparently very curious, turned away in a hurry when they saw Tenten had noticed them. Tenten rolled her eyes. Oh yes, how very mature.

But her gaze caught on something that interested her. A plaque was placed on the desk of the secretary, a plaque that she hadn't noticed before. She narrowed her eyes curiously, and could make out the words from across the room; etched in the bronze could be read, _RIP Jiraiya, 1934-2010_.

Tenten felt a grin come to her face.

She turned to Lee, and whispered. "Lee!"

He blinked at her nervously. "Yeah?"

She pointed to the plaque. He read it, and turned back to her. She lifted her foot. "Be a sad relative for me," she ordered, before she slammed her heel down on his toe as hard as he could.

"WAGH!" Lee cried out in pain, tears springing to his eyes as he clutched his left toe. The secretary and all the salespeople looked up in surprise, and Lee, feeling their gazes, nodded painfully at Tenten before he dropped to the ground, crying, "_OH, JIRAIYA! JIRAIYA, WHY ARE YOU GONE_?"

The secretary immediately lost her snooty look for one of immense pity, and hurried over from behind the desk. "Oh no!" She glanced at Tenten, who shrugged as she gestured down at Lee. "He was Jiraiya's grandson," she improvised in as sad a voice as she could, while Lee wailed, "MY GRANDPAPA, OH, MY POOR GRANDPAPA," in the background.

The secretary, putting a hand on Lee back, looked up at Tenten with a confused look. "Jiraiya…had a child…?"

Tenten gulped. "He had many children with many women…" she lied nervously.

The secretary, to Tenten's relief, was nodding, seeming to understand. "Yes, he got around quite often," she murmured, a finger at her bottom lip.

"OH, MY POOR GRANDPAPA, I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE!"

"Ah, there, there, sir…" the secretary cried, seeming upset at Lee's sobs. "We all miss him, he was a wonderful businessman. But everyone's time comes someday, and…"

As the secretary went on to try to calm the obnoxiously weeping Lee, Tenten was slowly backing away towards the front desk. When the last salesman stopped staring at them and went back to his work, Tenten immediately scurried towards the front desk, and swept behind it.

She pulled her bangs out of her face as she feverishly flipped through papers. She was looking for a way to find all of the workers' names, a schedule of something. And at last, after she'd flipped through a notebook, she found it. A schedule of the times all the workers were supposed to be here.

She remembered the exact time the mystery doctor was at the hospital, and she estimated that, from this location, it would take the employee from eight-thirty to ten-thirty in the morning to get the hospital, change, inject Gai with whatever they were injecting him with at the same time they were every morning, and then leave in time to get back to work.

She frowned, running her finger down the list of names and times to find out if there was a worker who was not working during those times.

And she immediately found him.

"WHY DID HE NOT STAY ALIVE IN TIME FOR ME TO SHOW HIM HOW I COULD ADD ANOTHER HUNDRED-POUND WEIGHT TO THE DUMBELL?"

"Oh sweetie, he was watching you from heaven!"

"I AM AN ATHEIST!"

"Th-Then…it's the thought that counts…?"

Tenten bit her lip, recognizing from her voice that the secretary was slowly losing her patience with Lee. She had to hurry. She looked up the name of the employee who wasn't working at the time that the mystery doctor was at the hospital; Kimimaro. She turned to the address book sitting on the top shelf of the storage unit on the desk, and rifled through it, fingers fumbling, 'till she found his name, and could examine the picture of him I their database; a man with long, pale hair.

She snapped the book shut and looked up, to see that he was here, now! A man with long, pale hair was standing at his desk, collecting his briefcase to him, and shutting his laptop. Tenten narrowed her eyes, trying to focus in on him, trying to see if there was anything suspicious. Why was he leaving? Probably for a lunch break. What was that sticking out of his briefcase…?

…Wait…What _was_ that?

Tenten had to stifle her gasp with her hand when she finally recognized what it was, sticking out of the corner of the briefcase like he'd closed it in a hurry: a dust mask.

Like the dust mask the doctor had been wearing.

"OH GRANDPAPA, WHERE DID YOU GO? ARE YOU WAITING FOR ME?"

"A…Are you going to be okay…?"

Tenten's attention was caught, and she automatically flitted back over to the secretary and Lee on the floor in the middle of the room just in time, as the secretary turned around to face her.

Catching her breath, Tenten grabbed Lee's arm and gave the secretary a huge, fake smile. "S-Sorry," she gasped, chest heaving from having to move so fast. "He's very insane." The secretary blinked in surprise as Lee immediately stopped crying and stood, and Tenten said sweetly, watching from the corner of her eye Kimimaro leaving the building, "Thank you for your consolation!" before wrenching Lee behind her as she leapt off.

The secretary, left behind on the floor, could only mumble, "Huh?"

.

"I wonder what it is that Chouji found in the coffee…" Temari was saying as she and Shikamaru walked down the sidewalk towards the clinic. "You said he sounded worried. Could it have been poison?"

"Don't jump to extremes," Shikamaru muttered, not looking Temari as they walked but instead gazing ahead of himself, a concerned look in his eyes.

"But you're thinking it too," Temari insisted, frowning. "I can tell."

Shikamaru scoffed, turning to look at her with an incredulous expression. "Oh, because you just know me inside and out, don't you?"

Temari smirked and laughed teasingly. "You say that with so much disregard for the innuendo."

Shikamaru blinked, and had to laugh himself, frustrated though, as he turned away and ran a hand over the back of his neck. "Why's everything always been innuendo with you? It was the same in High School. You're so perverted."

Temari gasped, insulted. "I am not, _I_ just have a sense of humor! Unlike you."

"Hey, now that's just bullshit on your part," Shikamaru snapped haughtily. "Don't pretend you don't think I'm hilarious."

Temari pouted. "Only because you're just pathetic, and that's funny." She eyed him carefully as he rolled his eyes. "Anyways, I'm surprised you're not afraid of mentioning High School. I thought you didn't ever want to talk about High School, considering you won't even let me tell you what _actually_ happened."

Shikamaru's joking expression was lost for a dark look. He glanced at her, and Temari could almost feel the anger from his eyes as he suddenly stopped walking. She stopped too, and he said dangerously, "I already _know_ what happened."

The sound of the cars passing by were muffled. Temari's skin felt cold, and her stomach felt like it had turned into a stone. But she still did not back away from him, and said quietly, "You don't know _anything_."

Shikamaru gave her one more furious look before suddenly the atmosphere was broken when he sighed and lifted his arms over his head, stretching. "We don't have time for bullshit," he said with a yawn. "Chouji's waiting for us, and I don't like to make Chouji wait."

Temari watched disconcertingly as he walked away, realizing in the back of her mind there was no use. She heaved a sigh, then hurried to catch up with him, saying as she went, "So, you and Chouji are close, huh? How long have you known him?"

Shikamaru shrugged, not looking at her as he said, "Since childhood. It's always been the three of us, Chouji and Ino and I. Even when I went away to a better High School than them, and even when they started dating. We've always been real close."

Temari almost smiled as they reached the walkway up to the clinic at last. "I wish I had friends like that," she said slightly dreamily as the two walked down it towards the glass doors. "I lost all my childhood friends when I moved to this country from Egypt."

Shikamaru said nothing, but she could see a strange look come over his eyes that may have reflected pity, before he pushed open the glass doors of the building and called in rudely: "Hey, Chouji! What have you got for us?"

Yet again, there was no wait, for Chouji and Ino were already in the lobby as Shikamaru and Temari entered and removed their sunglasses. But this time, the two had strange, worried looks on their faces, and Chouji walked over to Shikamaru with a stern expression on his face.

"Shikamaru, I examined the coffee, and I found something in it that may interest you," he said, stopping in front of the two as Ino leaned against one of the chairs, watching them with wide eyes.

Shikamaru raised a brow and said slowly, "Yeah, so? What is it?"

Chouji heaved a sigh and scratched his head, saying, "Well, I found a combination of chemicals in it that could really only be one thing…"

"That is?" Shikamaru insisted impatiently.

Chouji shrugged and said:

"Cyanide."

For a few seconds, it was absolutely silent. The word "cyanide" seemed to echo around the room. Shikamaru and Temari stood still, their mouths both slowly falling open.

And finally, they both reacted at the same time.

"I _knew_ it!"

"_What_?"

Chouji raised a brow, glancing between them. "Uh, yeah. The chemicals make up cyanide."

"_I knew it_!"

"_What?"_

"You…both just said that…already…" Chouji said awkwardly.

"Shut up," Shikamaru snapped to Temari, who was clapping her hands together in excitement, feeling thrilled. He pointed to Chouji, his other hand tangling in his hair. "Okay, so you're saying that…that _I_ was _wrong_, and _she_ was _right_?"

"That's _exactly_ what he's saying!"

"I _said_ shut up!"

Chouji coughed and shared a confused look with Ino. "Uh, yeah. There was definitely cyanide in that coffee." He frowned as Shikamaru looked around himself like he was suddenly on another planet. "Shikamaru, have you gotten yourself into another case?" Chouji asked attentively. "Is it dangerous? You know me and Ino don't like you going on these dangerous cases."

Shikamaru looked like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing incessantly. Temari wished she could take a picture. Finally he groaned and wiped a hand over his eyes, glowering. "Yes, Chouji," he grumbled. "I believe I've gotten myself into another dangerous fucking case."

Ino frowned, concerned. "Shikamaru, you'd better be careful! I'm not patching that hand of yours up _again_ just because you screwed your fingers up doing something stupid _again_!"

"Yeah, yeah, hey Temari…" Shikamaru faced her, and she grinned at him eagerly.

"Yes?" she asked in a smooth, contented voice.

He frowned, distracted by the huge smile on her face. "Wow, you are really just so happy, aren't you?"

"I don't think I've ever been more pleased in my life. I feel like I've died and gone to heaven."

"I didn't know you believed in heaven."

"I don't, that's just how incredibly damn happy I am right now, Shikamaru."

"Right…Take it easy on the ecstasy, sweetheart," he muttered, sighing and turning around. "Come on, you're taking me to your place of work."

"Huh?" Temari lost the smile for a look of confusion as Shikamaru suddenly grabbed her arm. "The paper? Why?"

"I need to check something out…And no, it's not you, Miss Innuendo."

"Ah, you stole the joke before I could…"

"And your life is such a tragedy."

.

"_Lee, _for goodness sake, be _quiet_!" Tenten hissed for the third time after Lee whimpered when his aching toe brushed the ground.

"But my toe _hurts_," Lee whispered.

"You're a bodybuilder, can't you suck it up?"

"I inflict _muscular_ pain upon myself, not _injuries_," Lee insisted in a hushed voice, but stopped talking when Tenten glared at him.

Tenten leaned forward to peer around the corner. She and Lee had immediately followed their suspect, Kimimaro, around the side of the office building of the steroid pill company, past a parking lot, and into an alley, and now they were threading their way after him around countless corners and past dumpsters and bins that Tenten did not want to know the contents of.

She could see their suspect now. He was standing still, as he had been for the past three minutes, and drumming his fingers nervously on his briefcase, untightening his tie and swallowing anxiously. Tenten heaved a sigh. She had thought about leaving the chase behind a while ago, but she was having too much fun. She'd gone this far, she kept telling herself as they'd darted after Kimimaro, and the rush of adrenaline that had been flowing through her simply wouldn't allow her to give up.

But now, they'd been waiting here for a couple minutes and nothing was happening. She was losing the rush, and she was getting to understand the kind of situation she was in; if this guy caught them stalking him, they could get in big trouble, maybe even with the police. She was not ready to risk everything and humiliation itself just to see if this guy could possibly be some mysterious doctor that, well she had to face it, she could have just dreamt up or simply imagined.

She opened her mouth, about to tell Lee to turn back, but caught herself when suddenly another man rounded the corner of another building, emerging from the shadows over to Kimimaro.

Tenten narrowed her eyes, noticing the way Kimimaro straightened up immediately to face this newcomer. The man was very dirty, and seemed to be quite impatient. He, too, had a briefcase, and he slammed it roughly on top of one of the trash bins, speaking in a low voice to Kimimaro and gesturing to it almost protectively.

Tenten felt Lee peering over her shoulder. "What's happening?"

"Sh!" Tenten shushed him quickly, and turned her attention back to the two men. They were opening the briefcase now. Tenten and Lee both leaned forwards, their eyes straining to see what was inside.

And Tenten was shocked at what she saw.

Bricks of a white, chalky-like substance…

"That's…" she gasped.

"Cocaine," Lee said, finishing her thoughts in hushed tones. He was clutching Tenten's arm in a vicious grip as they watched Kimimaro hand over a wad of cash in return for a brick, murmuring quietly, "This is a drug score!"

"This is huge…" Tenten said softly, unable to hide her grin. "Lee, we could really have something he—"

"_I-I-I WANNA GO-O-O ALL THE WA-A-AY…"_

Tenten and Lee both jumped, cringing in horror as Tenten's purse suddenly began to blast a Britney Spear's hit at its highest volume.

Fingers fumbling, she scrambled to reach into her bag, Lee swatting her arm, terrified. The song kept blasting around the alley, as she pushed past tampons, tissues, her wallet, her sunglasses case, condoms, her makeup bag, and finally her cell phone. Barely recognizing that it was Temari who was calling, Tenten switched it off as fast as she could, sweating.

"Quick, Lee," she gasped, glancing around the corner to see that the two men had suddenly disappeared. "We gotta get out of here!"

She reached a hand behind her to grab Lee, but instead felt something else. Something squishy, and definitely not Lee's arm…

Tenten slowly turned her head over her shoulder, to see that her hand had grabbed a face.

And not Lee's face.

Tenten froze as she slowly removed her palm from the nose and mouth of a rather rough-looking man.

A man who was holding a blindfold over a shivering Lee's eyes, and covering Lee's mouth with a rather large and scarred hand, and giving Tenten a terribly dangerous look.

"…Shit…" Tenten squeaked, before suddenly a black cloth was pressed over her eyes, and her vision went dark.

.

"Tenten still isn't answering her phone, and Shikamaru _slow down_!" Temari hissed nervously, running to keep up with his long stride. They were going through the paper at far too fast a pace to be safe, walking through the coat room and down the long, skinny hallway towards the copying room. Catching her breath as she finally reached his speed, she snapped, "What are you suddenly in such a rush for? Hours ago you didn't want to do _anything_, suddenly you're whipping me away to my own place of work? What are we here for, anyways?"

Shikamaru swept around a corner, and as they passed a rack of newspapers he immediately shot over to it and began to rifle through the papers sloppily, saying all the while, "I need to see something in the issue about Gai…Let's see, the date was…Ahah!"

Temari gasped in horror as newspapers went flying everywhere when Shikamaru flicked upwards from under the stack one of the newspaper copies and shook it open. "Hey!" she cried in as soft a tone as she could, feverishly darting about to clean up the spilled newspapers while glancing around herself to make sure no one was looking. "Stop it, I could get in some serious trouble if you mess anything up! I'm not supposed to allow too many people in here!"

Shikamaru wasn't listening, and as she pushed him out of the way violently and restacked the newspapers neatly, he scanned an article on the paper with his eyes, 'till finally he made a clicking sound with his tongue and teeth and flung the paper back on top of the rack, where Temari quickly shuffled it around to make it neat. "This won't do," Shikamaru snapped, frowning. He turned to Temari and pointed to the newspaper. "Who wrote the article on…Shit, aren't there any _windows _in this place?"

Temari gave him a stern look as he pulled a finger at his collar, glancing about them twitchily, before sighing and continuing: "Okay, going on, _who_ wrote the article on Gai the day he apparently attempted suicide?"

Temari wondered if he was going crazy, but said hesitantly nonetheless, "Well, um…Sasuke Uchiha."

Shikamaru nodded. "Okay so this…" His voice suddenly faded, and he slowly turned back to look at Temari. She gazed back at him nervously, eyes darting between his, trying to find some emotion. But his face was blank. "…Uchiha…?" he asked quietly.

Temari nodded slowly. "Yeah, um…He works here too…" she said. "He started here a little while after me…" Her heart raced, but she kept her cool as he looked away, his lips turning down in a frown, running a hand through his hair gruffly.

"So are you two…" Shikamaru said, his every word obviously forced, "…are you two still—"

"—No," Temari said immediately. Her voice came out sounding strangled, but she made a point to stare Shikamaru in the eyes as she said it.

Wanting him to know that she meant it. She really, really meant it.

She was being honest, for once.

Yet again, the dark atmosphere that had been swirling around them like a black cloud dispersed when Shikamaru clapped his hands together, so suddenly that Temari twitched, and whipped around. "Alright, so he's the guy I need to talk to. He's this way, right?"

"W…Well yes, but…hey, wait, you can't just go in there! Shikamaru!" Temari groaned as she ran after him while he strode briskly down the hallway and turned into the copying room.

There were rarely more than three people in there, so it wasn't a shock that today only Sasuke was there, sitting at his computer and reading an email. He looked up in surprise when he heard Shikamaru and Temari enter, and looked even more shocked at the sight of Shikamaru. He stumbled getting to his feet, stuttering, "Sh-Shikamaru-?"

"I'm a doctor, you call me Doctor Nara." Shikamaru snapped, ignoring Sasuke's wildly confused gestures and instead of greeting him flicking the newspaper up to shove it in his face. "You wrote this article, yeah?"

Sasuke glanced back and forth between Temari and Shikamaru, eyes wide, and he said shakily, "U-Uh, well yeah, but…I mean, it's been years, what are you doing here—?"

"—No time for questions," Shikamaru interrupted him, throwing the newspaper over his shoulder and ignoring the gasps of both Sasuke and Temari as the papers flew everywhere. As Temari watched them fluttering down, she again felt herself coming to the conclusion; Shikamaru was _insane_.

Shikamaru didn't seem to notice the mess he'd made, just took another step towards Sasuke and said loudly, "Sasuke, were you present at the scene of the supposed suicide attempt?"

"…Seriously, aren't you supposed to be working on a new eco-friendly motor or somethi—?"

"_Sasuke, answer me, were you or were you not?"_ Shikamaru repeated loudly. Temari gave an appalled look at the sudden anger.

Sasuke raised his hands nervously and stuttered, "W-Well yes, but I don't see—"

"—The pill bottle that was found on Gai's person after his collapse, the pill bottle that contained the cyanide capsules, was it labeled as aspirin?"

Sasuke blinked at Shikamaru, surprised and apparently impressed. "Um…yes! But I didn't put that in the article, how did you—?"

"—_Why _didn't you put that in the article?" Shikamaru demanded.

Sasuke shrugged nervously. "I just…didn't think it was important."

Shikamaru stared at Sasuke for a few more seconds with dark eyes, before he whipped around, wiping a hand over his face exasperatedly. "Well it is important," he muttered. "It's the most important thing in this case right now!"

"Shikamaru, _what_ are you going on about?" Temari cried impatiently, grabbing his sleeve.

Shikamaru glanced at her, and as Sasuke cautiously moved aside to pick up the fallen papers, he said in an undertone, "I think the cyanide capsules that Gai consumed on the day he collapsed were purposely disguised as aspirin."

Temari blinked. "What, just like the steroid pills?"

"Yes," Shikamaru said quietly. "Which means that your theory, that the cyanide capsules and steroid pills were switched, may actually be true."

Temari fought the grin that was coming to her lips. "So what do we do now?"

Shikamaru paused to look her over, before he grabbed her arm and pulled her after him, exiting the copying room without saying goodbye to Sasuke and yanking her through the paper, saying distractedly as they went, "We need to look more into Gai's life." He narrowed his eyes. "Starting with the gym."

.

When Tenten could finally see again, only because the blindfold covering her eyes was suddenly snatched off, she could tell that she was in a dark room filled with older, very dangerous-looking men.

She rubbed her arms, which had been clutched tightly in the grip of someone who was apparently very muscular, and looked around her, shivering nervously. But when she was Lee, who was also thrown into the dark room by a tall man, she smiled despite herself and ran over to him. The blindfold was taken off by the man, who spared Tenten a dirty look before walking over to the side of the room, and Lee, catching sight of Tenten, quickly grabbed her and pulled her close, gasping, "Are you okay, Miss Tenten?", his eyes huge.

She nodded quickly, letting him hold her tightly. "I-I'm fine. Glad to see you are too."

Lee frowned and looked around them. Tenten did too. The room was small, and made of wood. They had been lead through a street and then in through a door and down hollow cement steps, so she figured they were in the basement of a giant wooden house, probably one of the ancient, abandoned manors downtown, considering their position in the alley and their short journey.

Taking in the people as well, Tenten could see that men were surrounding both of the doors of the room, and the window in the upper left-hand corner was not only too small to get through, but covered with thick, rotting planks.

Tenten gulped, but Lee patted her shoulder consolingly. "Don't worry, Miss Tenten," he said quietly in a whisper down to her. "I am already ashamed enough at letting a lady come to harm in my presence. Not again. If they want to hurt you in any way, they're going to have to go through me first."

Tenten chewed her bottom lip. "Thank you Lee," she hissed. "But as sweet as that is, I really hope it doesn't come to that…"

"So? What should we do with them, boss?"

Tenten and Lee glanced over at one of the men, who was shouting across the room to a figure in the shadows. The figure did not move or answer, but another one of the men scoffed and said, "Oh you know what he'll say: 'Give 'em mercy, let 'em go!' As usual. Nothin' but a pussy."

"Oi, not a good idea to be badmouthing the boss when he's in the room," another man scolded with a grin. "He'll knock yer head off!" He spit out a toothpick that had been quivering between his lips and set his gaze upon Lee and Tenten, who both stared right back at him without flinching. Although her fingers were shaking, Tenten forced herself not to give in to fear. If something bad was going to happen to her, she wanted to at least be able to say she had dignity.

"You know what I think should be done with 'em?" the man who was looking at them snarled. "I think we should leave 'em tied up in a house somewhere, and let the cops deal with 'em. They'll be found starving half to death a few days later, and they'll be too weak to give us away."

"They couldn't give us away anyways," another man spoke up. "I tied them blindfolds tight. They couldn't see a damn thing."

"Yeah, you nearly cut off my circulation too," Tenten snapped. Lee tightened his grip on her nervously, but she really didn't care that the men were all giving her a look like they expected her to shut up. She didn't care if she was being rude. She was not going to back down like a helpless, trapped animal. She still had her pride, damnit.

"You'd do best to shut your trap, woman," one of the men drawled.

Tenten grit her teeth. "Excuse me Mister Sexist, but whether or not I'm a woman or a man has nothing to do with me shutting my trap!" The man who'd spoken raised a brow, shocked. She smirked. "Furthermore, I'm _not_ going to shut my trap because _you_ are giving me absolutely no benefit in doing so. Keeping silent is in no way going to help me get what I want, so I _will not _shut my trap until I _do_ get what I want!"

The men all stared at her with similar expressions of mixed surprise, amusement and anger. The shadowed figure in the corner shifted. Lee whimpered, "I don't think you should be rude to these men…" He cleared his throat, and said loudly, addressing the room as a whole "Maybe we should all just be polite with each other."

"You shut your trap too, _sir_," a man snapped sarcastically.

Lee, on the other hand, gasped, insulted. "Now that was rude!" he cried. "I am being nothing but nice to you gentlemen! You should show me the same respect!"

"Yeah, and another thing, could you open a window or something? I mean, seriously!" Tenten cried, noticing out of the corner of her eye the shadow shifting some more. "It smells like a dog died in here!" She paused, glancing around. "A dog…_didn't _die in here…did one…?"

"Oh, that would be awful," Lee said, shaking his head sadly. "Men who kill dogs are seldom kind people. Who would want to kill a dog?"

"I know what you mean!" Tenten agreed.

The men were silent for a couple seconds. Finally one of them said darkly, "You know what? Maybe we should make 'em OD."

Tenten felt her heart skip a beat. This time, she and Lee didn't say a word. Because they'd realized simultaneously that they'd crossed the line. Their good idea wasn't such a good idea after all…

Another man spoke up slowly. "Hey, yeah…" he said, sounding slightly elated. "If they OD, no one would be able to know how they died."

"W…wait…" Tenten said slowly, swallowing and holding up her hands, glancing around her while her heart raced as the men suddenly started to close in around them.

"So that's it, then," one of the men said, who was inching closer and closer to Tenten and Lee. "We kill 'em."

"Wait."

Tenten held her very breath. The shadowed figure in the corner was moving now, beginning to walk out from the corner. The men all turned to him, listening as he spoke in a deep, smooth voice like velvet.

And Tenten, somehow, instantly enjoyed that voice. Like she'd heard it before. Whispering in her ear, calling her name, laughing and talking, years ago…

"Wait…" he was saying slowly. He sounded surprised. "I…I know her…"

Tenten's heart raced. She was losing feeling where Lee's fingers were digging into her skin, but she didn't care.

He stepped out of the shadows into the light. His hair was longer than before, and braided into dreadlocks, and he was taller, much taller, and much more muscular too, and he was wearing a bandana around his head, and was donning a leather jacket over dirty jeans. But his eyes were still pools of ivory and lavender that she has missed staring into, and his skin was still as pale and smooth as porcelain, and his legs were still as tall as the fucking sky just like she would always make fun of him for…

Tenten's heart began to beat again, but it was pounding out a rhythm in her chest like it wanted to get out. Her mouth dropped open.

"_Neji_?"

**L U C K Y – G I M M I C K**

} _Continued on Pg A7; Drug Lord Demands Dinner_


	7. Drug Lord Demands Dinner

**Author's Note: **Anyone know why the ff-dot-net staff won't let us post links on our profiles anymore? What kind of bullshit is this? They won't let us use explanation marks directly after quotation marks either, which are legitimate forms of punctuation in the English language. _And_ they won't let us use double-dashes anymore, which are _also_ legitimate forms of punctuation. Honestly, I used to be angry at deviantArt because they gave me viruses, but at least the staff on that site _listens_ to people, and treats the users like a _community_. ): Anyone else have ff-dot-net horror stories?

* * *

><p><strong>[ Drug Lord Demands Dinner ]<strong>

"_Neji_?"

It was silent. The men in the room didn't say a word, and neither did Neji, who was staring at Tenten like he had seen a ghost. The silence rang on.

That is, until Lee said to Tenten blatantly, "Tenten, you know a drug lord?"

Tenten blinked and finally let out the gasp that she'd been holding in her throat. Still unable to look away from Neji she said breathily to Lee, "Apparently!"

Neji also did not look away from Tenten, but he said loudly, to the room as a whole. "Leave. I'll take care of them myself."

No one moved. Neji waited a few seconds, 'till finally he wrenched his gaze away from Tenten to say, raising his voice dangerously, "I said get out."

The men, all glancing at each other uncertainly, slowly trudged out. Lee relaxed visually as they left, but Tenten was letting a furious smile spread across her face. "Well," she said, crossing her arms haughtily as Neji waited impatiently by the door for the last man to leave. "Everything makes sense now."

Neji spared Tenten a look that hovered between annoyance and disbelief before he turned to the door and began to lock it with a chain. After he'd heard the satisfying click of the lock, he strode over to one of the windows. Meanwhile, Tenten was saying, jaw clenching and arms flying down to her sides, "Yeah, it's all so obvious now."

Neji ignored her as he continued to check the windows and doors, but Tenten just kept going. "Five whole years, and I finally get it," she cried, shaking her head in disgust at the sight of Neji walking around the room, testing locks. "I understand why you dropped off the map like that. You're an addict!"

Neji turned on the spot to gaze at Lee and Tenten, one brow raised, but Tenten was too busy ranting to return his suspicious gaze. "Yup! That's it!" she was saying snappishly. "I was dating a dirty, rotten addict. And now, look! You're a _drug_ _lord_! Figures! You're—!"

"—Tenten." He interrupted her as he suddenly walked over swiftly, stopped directly in front of her, and whipped something out of his pocket.

Tenten blinked at it in surprise as Lee leaned over her shoulder to peer at what Neji held in his hand. At close inspection, they could both see it was a badge.

Tenten raised a brow and looked up at Neji. He watched her expectantly, then sighed and returned it to his pocket, snapping impatiently, "I'm not a drug lord, I'm an FBI agent!"

Tenten and Lee both gave him strange looks, and he sighed. "I'm undercover," he said quietly to them, glancing over both shoulders to make sure they were alone before facing them again angrily. "I've been working with the FBI for over three years as an undercover drug lord. I pretend to make and control scores when really I'm arresting people in private. Understand?"

Tenten and Lee were silent for a few seconds, before both of them gasped at the same time, "_Oh_!"

Neji rolled his eyes. "Yeah," he said darkly. "And you both almost just ruined my _entire_ investigation."

Lee seemed very impressed, but Tenten just scoffed. "Oh, _so-rry_," she said loudly, drawing out the vowels obnoxiously.

Neji gave her a patronizing glare before muttering, "Tenten, I don't _want _to know what led you down here, but whatever it is, whatever you've gotten yourself into, you need to get out of it _now_." He pointed across the room at the other wooden door near which he'd been standing earlier and said, "That door leads to a set of stairs that will take you outside. From there, make your own way as far away from this area as you can get yourselves. You are _not_ in a safe situation right now, and I'm not going to be responsible for any harm that comes your way."

Tenten stared with a stony expression back at him. She contemplated in her mind whether she wanted to smack him or insult his father. Or both. Whatever was the best way to make him sad.

But she decided she wasn't going to sink to that level. No, she still had her pride.

So she turned her nose up at him and said icily, "Fine." She grasped Lee's arm and pulled him away towards the door. "Come on, _Lee_, let's leave this loser."

But Lee stumbled, trying to stop her. "B-But Tenten," he blubbered.

"He can't help us," Tenten snapped, giving Neji the dirtiest sneer she could over her shoulder, Neji responding only by rolling his eyes. "Especially not with some stupid steroid scheme. He can't help us with _anything_." She glowered as she turned to the door and pushed on it, frowning when it wouldn't open.

"Wait…Steroid scheme…?"

Lee looked timidly over at Neji and began to open his mouth, but Tenten, still pushing on the door, which wouldn't budge, said loudly, "Yeah, yeah, we found steroids that were disguised as aspirin, it's just a really important, _special_ case that we _good citizens _are working on, but it doesn't concern _you_."

"No, but…" Tenten turned away from the stupid door to face Neji, and he took a couple steps closer, eyes narrowed in interest. "I know someone who's involved in steroid schemes."

Tenten blinked in surprise, and Lee gasped, saying excitedly, "You do?"

"Yeah, he works with me. A friend of mine," Neji was saying, running a hand through his dreads thoughtfully.

Tenten frowned. "Well, who is he? Can you give us the information on him?"

Neji looked up at her, and suddenly Tenten recognized a slightly mischievous glint in his eyes. Oh, shit. She hated that look.

Neji shrugged and said, "Sure…On one condition."

Lee blinked. "What is it?"

Neji didn't look at Lee, instead his ivory eyes dove straight into Tenten's as he said, very casually, "You go to dinner with me tonight."

Tenten felt her mouth fall open. She gaped at him for a few seconds, in which she realized that no, he was not joking. And then she made a furious, strangled sound in her throat before turning away, growling, "You can _keep_ your information!"

"B-But Tenten—!" Lee started, but Tenten glared at him and snapped, "There is no way I'm going _anywhere_ with that…that _traitor_!"

"Tenten!" Lee hissed under his breath, grabbing her arm. "We _need_ him!"

"Lee, you don't understand, I _can't_—"

"—You _have_ to!" Tenten winced as Lee gazed into her eyes imploringly. "Please! This may be my only chance at figuring out what's happened to Gai!"

Tenten grimaced, glancing between Lee's puppy-dog-eyes and Neji's amused expression, before finally she groaned aloud and slammed a foot into the ground. "_Fine_!" she yelled, far louder than she meant to, twirling around to point rudely at Neji and declare, "I'll go to dinner with you!"

Neji's lips turned up at the edges as he said politely, "Excellent." He cleared his throat and turned around, walking over to a desk in the corner and grabbing a pen. "Are you familiar with Sangria?" he called over his shoulder.

"…Yes…" Tenten muttered dejectedly. She paused and cried. "Wait, I couldn't possibly afford—!"

"—I'm paying," Neji reassured her quickly over his shoulder as he scrawled something down on a piece of paper. "Please be there at eight, and dress nice."

"Blah, blah, blah…" Tenten whispered under her breath. Neji ignored this and turned to walk over to her, holding out the paper. When she did not take it, only giving him a dirty glare, he sighed and handed it instead to Lee. "There's the address to his house. We call him Bones. He specializes in pills. Anything you need to know about steroid schemes, he's your man."

"Thank y—"

"—Don't thank the dirty bastard, Lee, he doesn't deserve it," Tenten grumbled before Lee could finish shaking Neji's hand, pushing Lee away and pulling him towards the door. She made a frustrated grunt when the door still wouldn't open, and Neji called as he began to walk away, "It's a pull, not a push."

Tenten froze, then turned to give Neji an icy, forced smile. "I _knew that_," she said slowly. "I was just…_testing_ you!" She tugged on the door lightly, and it opened easily. She cleared her throat, then turned to leave angrily.

Her hand was still in a fist, from standing there for all that time wanting, more than anything, to punch the man in his pretty face.

.

Shikamaru had a hard time not looking at her, he realized.

It was past noon now. They were heading down the sidewalk towards the most popular gym that Gai owned, the one that he always went to himself to train. The sun was glaring down on them, and Shikamaru could feel a bead of sweat glistening on his brow. He wiped it away distractedly, eyes still trained on Temari.

He felt like such a creeper. But he couldn't help himself. He'd been staring at her for the past couple hours, unable to look away. He used to do this in High School too, he remembered as he sheepishly observed the way her butt moved when she stepped over a crack in the cement. In class, she'd always catch him watching her, then grin at him like she knew all along that he was looking, and she enjoyed it.

Damn temptress. He glared at her back as she stretched in the sunlight while they walked, her perfectly curved body taunting him agonizingly. She wasn't even doing it on purpose this time. Oh, but when she _did_ start doing it on purpose again, he would have to watch out. She had been such a tease in High School…

He slammed a hand into his face, frustrated with himself, as they climbed up the circular steps towards the front doors of the gym. Here he went again, thinking about High School. He remembered what she did to him. He had promised he would never forgive her.

He glowered at her form in front of him. But damn, did he want to…

And once more he hit himself in the forehead, whispering to himself, _"Stop being a creeper…"_

"What?" He looked up at Temari, who was watching him with a raised eyebrow over her shoulder.

He frowned at her. "Nothing." He kept walking and passed her by, and she glared at him for it and pushed him to the side so she could walk next to him, gazing up at him indignantly. "Do you have a mental problem?"

"Well you may be annoying enough to give me a tumor."

"I'm actually serious," Temari said, narrowing her eyes. "What was going on back there in the paper? You were acting kind of…"

"Sexy?"

"Erratic."

Shikamaru smirked distractedly. "Not _erotic_?"

He noticed she couldn't help but smile at that herself, but shook her head and said, "Really, come on. Why were you acting so strange?"

Shikamaru frowned and sped up so he didn't have to walk next to her. Like they were a couple or something. Sheesh. "There were no windows," he said carelessly.

He heard her footsteps hurrying behind him. "Please," she said with a scoffing laugh. "That's no reason to completely change your personality. Why don't you like it when there aren't any windows?"

He said nothing, hoping she would drop the subject. They were nearing the doors of the gym, they'd be in a public place soon. Maybe she'd get distracted.

But she didn't give up. As usual.

"Is it something to do with Asuma?"

Shikamaru felt his whole body stop. He heard her footsteps die to a halt as well as she paused behind him. The two stood in the middle of the sidewalk, only six feet away from the front doors of the gym, under the shade of one of the trees, completely silent.

Until finally he forced himself to turn around, feeling like a robot while he was doing so, to stare at her. She blinked her striking teal eyes back at him. He saw the curiosity in her face. The interest.

She was always so _interested_ in him…

"You're not a normal person, Temari," he said at last, in a quiet voice that barely snuck past his lips. She raised a brow at that, so he continued; "Normal people are afraid to ask questions about Asuma." He smiled a bit, running a hand through his hair in a frustrated way. "They think I'll…break down or something, I guess." He eyed her. "But _you_…You don't even hesitate."

Temari did not flinch, only returned his gaze with stern blue eyes. "What do you expect?"

Shikamaru allowed himself only a few more seconds of gazing at her, before he snatched his face away and began to walk yet again. "Yes," he said darkly.

He listened as she followed him, saying shortly, "What?"

"Your answer is yes," he repeated impatiently. "It has something to do with Asuma."

This time, Temari did not respond. Well, maybe she _did _have some regard for people's feelings.

Not wanting to feel this crushing atmosphere again, he shook his shoulders slightly as they took a stop at the front doors of the gym, and he pulled on them. But he paused and gave them a strange look when they wouldn't open.

"What's up?" Temari asked from his side.

"They're locked," he said, peering in through the glass. "Is this gym not open today?"

"Oh, yes, sorry, we're closed." Temari and Shikamaru turned to the sound of a man who was rounding the corner, carrying a piece of paper and a roll of tape in his hands. He politely passed them to tape up a sign that read, "CLOSED FOR CLEANING, SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCES" in bold letters.

"A _gym_ is closed?" Temari asked, raising a brow. "Most gyms are open twenty-four-seven, aren't they?"

"Well this is a very high-class gym," the man said with a calm smile in their direction. "It's owned by Maito Gai, after all."

"Yeah, we know that…" Shikamaru eyed the gym. "Even so, why clean in the middle of the day? Aren't gyms usually cleaned at night?"

"Well, yes, we usually clean during the night," the man agreed, pulling some of his long, pale hair out of his face. "But today, we're having the floors waxed, and that's a particularly expensive, lengthy and dangerous project." He watched as Shikamaru and Temari both sighed, and he added sheepishly, "I'm the manager of the gym, is there something I can help you with?"

Temari shook her head. "No, we were just going to visit someone. Thanks anyways." She and Shikamaru turned and began to walk back down the sidewalk the way they'd come, and they shared a look as the owner disappeared behind the corner again. "Well now we're stuck," she said, frowning and stopped to stand beneath the refreshing shade of one of the trees. Shielding her eyes from the sun as Shikamaru stood next to her and stuffed his hands into his pockets, she muttered, "What now? That was our next step…"

"I don't think we _can_ do anything," Shikamaru admitted with a shrug. He turned his head to gaze up at the clouds. "They're so fluffy today…" he murmured to himself against his will, observing the way they floated, carefree, into the blue distance.

"…What?"

"The clouds." He shook his head and glanced down to see Temari giving him a strange looked. "…What's that face for?" he inquired.

"You _do_ have a mental problem, don't you?" Temari said, eyeing him with a frown. He rolled his eyes, but she said brightly, "I knew it. Even in High School I could tell you were crazy. You're wacky, aren't you? You're loopy in the head!"

Shikamaru opened his mouth sternly to retort, but he was interrupted when Temari's purse emitted a loud ringing. She twitched in surprise, and began to rummage around in her bag to pull out her cell phone. Glancing once at the caller ID, she answered with a snap, saying eagerly, "Tenten, what is it?"

Shikamaru sighed and watched as Temari nodded, and suddenly pulled a notepad and pen out of her purse quickly. "Yeah, okay, hold on—_Shit_!"

Shikamaru raised a brow when Temari cursed as the pen fell from her fingers, and in an effort to grab it she accidentally dropped the notepad as well. Shikamaru leaned down to grab them, but froze as soon as his fingers touched the pen. Because Temari's hand had landed on top of his, reaching for the pen at the same time.

Shikamaru allowed himself a few seconds to look at this sight, as neither of them moved. Her skin was darker than his, her Egyptian heritage giving her a soft bronze tint. Her hand was also smaller than his. He almost smiled, remembering how in High School she would always get upset that he was taller than her.

To distract himself from the tingling sensation growing where their skin touched, he dared look up at her, and found that her eyes were focused on something on their hands. And she looked scared.

Why was she _scared_?

He looked back down at their hands, trying to figure out what she was looking at; and he found it.

The scar circling his left pinky and ring fingers. _That_ was what was scaring her?

But why…?

"Uh, yeah…" Temari said quietly, suddenly speaking into the phone, apparently answering Tenten.

So Shikamaru snapped out of it at the same time as Temari, and he coughed and let Temari take the notepad, grabbing the pen and handing it to her awkwardly.

"Thanks," she said distractedly. He saw a strange, wild flash pass in her gaze before she held up the notepad and scribbled something down on it while listening to Tenten on the phone. "Yeah, I got it…How did you get this information anyways? And are you okay? You sound pissed, did something—Hello?"

Temari blinked and looked down at her phone, then up at Shikamaru, appalled. "She hung up on me!"

Shikamaru laughed a bit. "You guys are already getting along, huh?"

"Apparently." Temari held up the notepad. "Anyways, this is the address of someone who Tenten said is the only one in town that makes a business out of disguising pills. So I guess, luckily enough, we found our next step."

Shikamaru groaned. "Yeah, whatever," he muttered, to her triumphant smirk. "Let's go ahead and check it out, then."

"Ah, just one thing," Temari said suddenly, holding up a finger. She glanced at him with a sheepish grin. "I hope you like long car rides. This guy lives a long ways away."

"…Let me sleep, and I love them."

"You're like a dog!"

.

"Well…how should we start this?"

Tenten glowered across the table at Neji. It was eight o'clock exactly, and she'd just barely gotten settled in her seat, and finally ordered a simple glass of water (she was _not_ going to give this traitor the satisfaction of watching her eat), and he was already starting it.

Oh, she knew they were coming. The _excuses_. Oh, she just couldn't _wait_.

"How about we start this by me punching your dirty face?" she snapped.

She watched Neji's lips twitch upwards slightly, but he was unfazed. "Uh huh, _or_," he said slowly, "we could start this by going one at a time." Tenten tilted her head to the side, intrigued by this idea, and, encouraged, he continued to explain: "I'll go first. I'll tell my side of the story, get the chance to explain myself without you interrupting me, and then I'll let you say what you have to say without me interfering at all." He watched as she tapped her fingers together, and said carefully, "Sound good?"

Tenten glanced up at him and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever," she muttered, pursing her lips and crossing her arms over her loose white shirt with pink flowers decorating it. Even though she'd taken heed of what Neji had said and dressed nicely, she still felt a little out of place around all these high-fashion people in the outdoor bistro, enjoying their wines and salted pork under the lamplight. Happy romantic couples, business partners toasting their accomplishments…She didn't belong here. She belonged at the bar three blocks from her apartment, with the drunken gay men that would clap her on the back and compliment her on her hair.

Neji watched her for a little while longer, then sighed and leaned back in his seat. Tenten hated the way he did that. She hated the way he did everything. After five years of not talking to her, five years of leaving her in the dark, here he was being…well, just as he always was. He was so fucking _pretty_. She hated that so much. How pretty he was. Pretty hair, pretty face, pretty ass, pretty legs, she _hated _it!

And now his stupid, pretty lips were moving, saying slowly as he narrowed his eyes, concentrating, "I supposed I should start at the beginning…This is when we were still dating." Tenten made a face at the word, not enjoying remembering she'd actually been _dating_ this asshole, but remembering their deal she let him continue. He pointed to his forehead, which was covered with a bandanna, and said slowly, "You remember when I got this tattoo in Middle School?" Tenten nodded slowly, and he said quietly, "It wasn't for looks."

Tenten raised a brow, and he sighed. "In Middle School, I figured out why my father died…And it was because my family isn't just involved in car dealership business." Tenten tilted her head to the side, and he said with a frown, "My family is involved in the drug world. It has been for a while."

Tenten scoffed to herself. Well, _that_ was obvious now. He went on: "My family is part of a sort of gang. And in Middle School, when I discovered this, I got dragged into it against my will." He nodded to her shortly, saying, "You were right. I was an addict. Even before we were dating, I had already been addicted to cigarettes, meth, and crack, and I was on a bad road…

I was very good at hiding it, obviously. I kept trying to tell myself I'd get out of it eventually. It was thanks to having friends like you that I even thought I was capable of doing so." He gave her a small, sad smile that pricked at her heart, saying softly, "You were a huge inspiration for me. I even quit meth for you."

That certainly sent shivers down Tenten's back, but she sat stoically staring back at him with a stony expression. She would not bend to sweet words, she'd already promised herself this. She was stronger than that, damn it.

Neji seemed a little unsettled across the table, seeming to realize what he'd said, and coughed and straightened up. "But it went downhill from there," he continued. "The government caught on to my family after a while, and sooner or later my uncle was sent to prison. You remember that, don't you?"

Tenten _did_ remember that. Only a few months after they'd started dating, Neji's uncle was arrested for charges that were not released. She had never asked Neji about it because she thought it was too sensitive a subject and she didn't want to bother him about it.

Neji nodded, recognizing the understanding in her eyes. "That's the reason he was arrested. Half of my family also went to prison for it." He folded his hands together. "I, however, was still only seventeen, and with my being underage, and knowing that I was recovering and I had been dragged into the scheme against my will, the police went easy on me and simply assigned me to a witness protection program."

Tenten felt her lips part against her will. So _that_ was why he went missing. He tapped his hands on the table, watching her. "Yes, that's why I went missing," he said, as if reading her mind. "The day you took that test, the day I never came to pick you up, it wasn't my fault…" He shook his head, staring at her imploringly, as if desperate for her to understand. "They came for me out of nowhere, they forced me to leave against my will. Believe me, I put up a fight, but they wouldn't let me stay, they said I'd either go to Juvenile Hall, where I'd eventually have to be transferred to prison, or I'd come with them. I asked if I could at least say goodbye, but they wouldn't give me a chance…"

And, here they were. Tenten felt her lips turn down in a glower. The excuses. She knew it was only a matter of time.

"So I was forced into witness protection," Neji continued, his gaze not leaving her. "They erased every bit of me they could from the world, made it look like I don't exist. I had created so many enemies for myself from my days in the drug world they had to do everything they could to make me look dead. And I accepted that, thinking it would only be for a couple of months, me staying underground, hidden. Until they proposed that I was going to have to move out of the city. And I couldn't have that, I wanted there to be a chance to see the people I cared about again." He eyed her and added quietly, "I wanted to see _you_ again, Tenten."

Tenten stilled her rushing heart immediately, and he went on: "There was only one way for me to stay in the city; if I were to volunteer to go undercover and work for the government. So I did. I was in-listed into the FBI, and they gave me two years of training, and here I am now." He held out his hands almost sheepishly. "I'm an undercover agent pretending to be an underground drug lord. That's my job…I've been trying to find a way out of it for years now. I've been trying to find a way to see you again. But the truth is, it's not what I expected. It's not as easy as I thought. I think…"

Tenten watched as his voice trailed away, and his eyes traveled to somewhere distant off to the side. "I think…" he repeated, "I'm stuck." He was silent for a few seconds, staring at nothingness, 'till he seemed to snap out of it, and turned to her. "That's about it," he said quietly. "I have…absolutely nothing more to say to you…Only that, I hope you understand now. And I hope you can forgive me." He smiled slightly. "I really am happy to see you again."

Tenten stared back at him with an expressionless face. "That's all?" she said emotionlessly.

"That's all," he replied.

A few seconds passed, before she muttered, "Well that's stupid."

Neji blinked in surprise, and she folded her arms on the table, glaring at him. "What, you expect me to forgive you after that?"

Neji gave her a look like she was an alien. "I don't see a reason _not_ to," he said, appalled. "I think I explained myself perfectly, and you should see it my way; I had no other choice!" Tenten sneered at that.

"Oh, boo hoo, you're upset because I'm not _pitying_ you?" she snapped, voice dripping with sarcasm. She really could only use words to hurt him right now, because apparently kicking his ass would be illegal. "Get over yourself," she scoffed.

Neji shook his head, exasperated. "Tenten, I have no idea why you're still upset," he said with a frown. "You're over-reacting, I couldn't have done anything—"

"—You wanna know why I'm upset?" Tenten finally yelled. The couple sitting at the table next to them blinked and turned around in surprise to stare, but Tenten didn't care. She pointed a finger accusingly at Neji and snapped, "Three weeks after we started dating, on November twenty-first, at lunch-time, you turned to me and said you'd do _anything_ for me."

Neji's eyes were huge as he stared up at her while she got to her feet, and she said darkly, "That was a lie."

"T…Tenten…"

"Oh shut up," she snapped, glaring down at him. "You think you had it so tough, but did you even _think_ about _me_? The entire time you were doing what you were doing, did you even _think_ about how I felt? After you left me alone at that school, on one of the most _important_ days of my life…I didn't know what to think, if you'd found some other girl, or if you'd died, or if you just didn't want to see me anymore…I cried for hours. You had to ruin _everything_ Neji!"

"Tenten, I…" She ignored him as she snatched up her purse and slung it over her shoulder, pushing the chair out of her way with screech. "Tenten, wait, where are you going?"

"I don't have time to waste talking to you," she said haughtily. She glared over her shoulder as she walked away, leaving him, appalled, alone at the table, and finished sadly, "I have better things to do."

.

"…Wow, you are just knocked out cold, aren't you?" Temari asked the sleeping form of Shikamaru.

He did not answer, only one of his eyebrows twitched a bit as he inhaled deeply, eyes shut tight.

It was eight thirty and they'd finally arrived at the house of Bones, the man who Tenten said their apparent 'source of information' had told them to go for answers to their questions on disguised steroid pills. It had been a long drive, in which Shikamaru insisted Temari drive and he sleep. Which she didn't mind, at least they wouldn't have to argue.

Now she observed the way he slumbered peacefully, head resting against the window. She had to admit; he was adorable.

The ass.

She rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder roughly, snapping, "Get up." She glowered when he did not react. "Geez," she muttered. He really was a heavy sleeper.

She sighed and shrugged. Might as well just go without him. She glowered, blushing, when she added mentally that she actually couldn't bring herself to wake up that sleeping face.

"_Ass_," she whispered to herself, climbing out of the car and snapping the car door shut, glaring at the sleeping form of Shikamaru through the windshield as she passed him. "Just leaving me with all the work," she grumbled as she climbed the steps of the porch to Bones' house. She grimaced at the dirty door. They were in a really ugly neighborhood, and all of the houses were tiny and quite run-down. She actually winced when she had to press her knuckles to the dirty door to knock on it.

But, to her surprise, as soon as she punched it lightly, it squeaked open to display a dark living room. Temari raised a brow and took a step forward, peering into the house. The living room was small and circular, with peeling and yellowing wallpaper and shabby furniture hiding piles of garbage. "Um…hello?" she called in. There was no answer, but she could hear the sound of water gushing from a sink somewhere in the house, and she narrowed her eyes. "Um, your door is open," she yelled into the house, pushing the door out of the way to step into the living room. "Is it alright if I come in?"

Yet again there was no answer. She frowned, concerned. The house was really small, if someone was in there they _had_ to have heard her. Curiosity at its peak, she walked cautiously into the living room, looking around, and listening to the sound of water still running from a tap somewhere else in the house. It came from a broken wooden door leading out of the living room. She watched it carefully, her mind going back and forth on whether she should or shouldn't go through it.

_There must be someone in there_, she thought to herself, fingers tapping on the strap of her purse anxiously. _No one in their right mind would leave the water on and leave the house…And they have to have heard me…_

She held a hand up to her nose, suddenly noticing the overwhelming smell of smoke, and debated with her mind. Whoever it was in the house could be _unable_ to respond to her. They could be in trouble. "Um…are you okay in there?" she called towards the wooden door. Still silence, broken only by the sound of rushing water. She took another step closer, and said curiously, "Bones?"

"Turn around slowly."

Temari raised a brow nervously at the voice that had suddenly spoken a few feet behind her. Well. Those were definitely not pleasant words to hear.

**L U C K Y – G I M M I C K**

} _Continued on Pg A8; Mystery Doctor Exposed_


	8. Mystery Doctor Exposed

**Author's Note: **I think it's worth noting that Bones is going to make you all go I SEE WHUT JOO DID THAR MAWA. Have fun with that. ;) Also, don't worry, guys, the story's only half-way over. There are plenty more clues to uncover. With that, enjoy the chapter~

* * *

><p><strong>[ Mystery Doctor Exposed ]<strong>

"Turn around slowly."

Temari raised a brow nervously at the voice that had suddenly spoken a few feet behind her. Well. Those were definitely not pleasant words to hear.

Despite the fact that her stubborn disposition usually forbade her from taking orders, especially from, apparent from the voice, a man, Temari acknowledged the nagging feeling of danger. Even so, for only a brief moment she debated snapping back at the owner of the voice to give her one reason to do what he said.

But then a recognizable clicking sound from right behind her head certainly gave her a reason.

She chewed her bottom lip and obeyed, cautiously turning over her shoulder to see that yes, her suspicions were correct, and there was a man standing only a few feet behind her, pointing a gun directly at her head.

She gulped, but kept her footing and slowly took a step back, saying carefully as she lifted her hands up, "U-Um…Listen, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break in, but your door was open and I thought that, maybe, you were in trouble, and…"

But her voice faded when she saw the long pale hair of the man, and the slanted eyes. She frowned, tilting her head to the side. She knew him from somewhere, didn't she?

She took a second while the man observed her with dangerous eyes, before she gasped. "Hey!" she cried in a hushed voice, forgetting for a second there was a gun pointed to her head and pointing at him rudely. "You're that man from earlier today! You're the owner of the gym!"

The man raised a brow. "…Yes, and you're the one that was there with that man earlier today. And you're a cop, aren't you?"

Temari blinked in surprise, and laughed, shaking her head wildly. "No, no!" she cried, desperate to get him to understand. "I'm not, I swear! I'm just—"

"—That's a lie," the man snapped, glaring at her. "If you're not a cop, what kind of crazy coincidence is it that you happen to run into me today, and then later just so happen to break into my house?"

Temari shrugged nervously. "A really crazy coincidence?"

The man was not amused. "You're running an investigation on me aren't you?"

Temari bit her lip. "Um, well, yes, in a way…" she admitted sheepishly. "But I'm not a—"

"No more excuses." Temari grimaced when he interrupted her and took a step forward. His dangerous eyes were looking her over as he muttered, "This is going to be a bitch. I wonder what I should do with you?"

Temari's mind whirled quickly. She was about to suggest that he let her walk out without doing anything, but then she remembered what she was here for. What would it look like to Shikamaru if he saw her just walking out with no information? It would be a failed mission. An obstacle she never faced.

She glowered. He would never let her get over it.

But she wasn't of any use if she was shot. She angrily reminded herself this was a _gun_ that was being pointed at her head. This was her _life_ that she was gambling with, it wasn't just a promotion or her pride that was at stake anymore. She couldn't just wing this like she did everything else.

But she'd never been in this situation before. For once, she wasn't ready for this. For once, she didn't know what to do…

Her eyes strayed around the room desperately, wanting to find anything at all that could give her an idea.

And she found it. Two things that made her rapidly beating heart calm:

The first was a shadow, in the corner of the room. The second, a silver glint coming from the shelf above the chipped brick fireplace.

Her lips turned up at the corners, and she relaxed.

"I'll tell you what you should do," she said finally. She pointed past the man, who raised a brow. "You can sit down on that ratty sofa of yours over there, and answer all my questions. And you can go ahead and fetch me a wine or something while you're at it, too."

The man seemed appalled. "Run that by me again," he hissed, taking a step forward furiously.

Temari smirked, setting her hand on her hip, unfazed. "You're not deaf, I assume," she drawled.

"May I remind you who's holding the gun?" the man growled, seeming to be on the edge of exploding.

"May I remind you where the bullets are?" Temari retorted back in a mocking voice.

The man blinked in surprise at this, backing up for a moment. Temari grinned, and nodded over to the shelf above the fireplace. "Just like you're not deaf, _I'm_ not blind," she said haughtily. "I can see the bullets up there from here."

The man winced visibly, and Temari sighed. "Really, if you just want to scare me out of your house, it's not going to work. I don't frighten easily."

The man sighed and threw his gun to the side, and Temari smiled victoriously. "Well," she said, crossing her arms cheerfully. "Since it's _safe_, you can come out now, Crybaby."

The pale-haired man blinked in surprise and turned over his shoulder to see Shikamaru emerging from around the corner, a glare on his face directed at Temari. Ignoring the man who was glancing between Shikamaru and Temari wildly, Shikamaru strode across the room, kicking the gun even further aside, and snapped to Temari, "What the hell were you thinking? Are you _trying _to get yourself killed?"

"Don't worry, I knew you were there," Temari responded, frowning at him sternly. "I could see your shadow coming around the corner."

"That doesn't matter!" Shikamaru insisted angrily. "I was coming up with numerous plans to disarm him but each one I made _you_ kept fucking up with your…_words_!"

"Who the hell—"

"—Shut up, I'm not done scolding her," Shikamaru snapped over his shoulder at the man who was gaping at the intruders. He turned back to Temari and said, "Don't _ever_ go snooping around without my permission again!"

"You don't own me."

"I _could_ own you, I have enough money to _buy_ you!"

"Your modesty is on the fritz again."

"And so is your _sanity_."

"I will load my gun, I swear!" Shikamaru and Temari blinked and turned the man who was glaring at them, and Shikamaru coughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey, sorry," Shikamaru said sheepishly. "Uh, don't worry, we're not cops, and we're not here to turn you in. We just have a few questions we need to ask you."

The man eyed them suspiciously, still quite confused. "…About what?" he asked cautiously.

Shikamaru faced him sternly. "So you're the owner of the gym. _And_, you're apparently connected to the drug industry in some way, is that right?" The man took a step backwards, but Shikamaru held up a hand and said, "Like I said, we're not here to turn you in. We're after someone else, we couldn't give two shits about you." The man paused, and Shikamaru continued: "So I'm assuming I'm right. Which means you can help us out. We need to ask you some questions, and we'll need you to answer them completely." He crossed his arms and frowned. "And, uh, about the wine…It's not a good idea for her, because she's driving (Temari glowered) But for me," He grinned. "That offer's still up."

.

"So you're the one Tenten was following, huh?" Temari said. Five minutes later they were all seated around the shabby furniture of the living room of the man called Bones, who upon further questioning they figured out was actually named Kimimaro, and was apparently not only the owner of the gym, but also worked at the steroid office Tenten had gone to, and was the very man that she had been following when she was brought up to Neji.

"Yes, the little Asian girl," Kimimaro said with a nod as Shikamaru took a sip of his chipped glass of wine. "I heard that she and her skinny friend got away from Neji unharmed. That's pretty rare, the boss doesn't usually show people mercy. More often, when someone ticks off the boss, they're never seen again."

"Yeah, well, Tenten's a tough one," Temari said. "But I can understand why she was suspicious of you. You're really connected to this case."

"Well with good reason," Kimimaro said with a shrug. "I'm the only one around these parts who can disguise a pill. Really useful in the drug industry, but people come to me all the time asking to disguise steroid pills as aspirin. It's the oldest trick in the book for athletes."

"So do you keep track of all the clients you've ever done this for?" Shikamaru asked over his glass of wine.

"Yeah, in case they owe me money," Kimimaro said, shrugging. "But I can tell you right now, I never did anything for Maito Gai. I mean, I would've remembered if someone that famous came to me. I would've charged him a _shit _ton extra."

"Can we get a list of all the people who asked to have steroid pills disguised as aspirin, then?" Shikamaru asked. "Is there a way you can send it to me in an email?"

"Sure, I guess I can do that," Kimimaro said. "If you promise to leave me alone after this."

"Consider yourself inexistent," Shikamaru said calmly, reaching into his pocket to pull out a business card. He slid it across the dirty coffee table towards Kimimaro, who picked it up and observed it. As Shikamaru finished his wine and set the glass down, Kimimaro's eyes widened. "Wait, wait, you're…Shikamaru Nara?"

Shikamaru and Temari, who had been standing, ready to leave, both glanced at Kimimaro. Shikamaru nodded awkwardly. "Uh, yeah."

Kimimaro's mouth dropped open. "No, you're not," he said in a hiss.

Shikamaru raised a brow. "…_Yes_, I _am_…" he said slowly.

It was silent, before Kimimaro jumped to his feet, backing away wildly while waving his arms and shouting, "Get out! You can't arrest me, I didn't do nothin' wrong!"

Shikamaru groaned and Temari blinked in surprise. "Why does everyone always think I'm going to arrest them?" he whispered exasperatedly down to a confused Temari, then turned and shouted to Kimimaro, who was inching out of the room, stumbling over furniture, "I'm not gonna arrest you, dipshit, for the last time!"

"You arrested one of my friends!"

Shikamaru grimaced. "Uh, yeah, well I'm sure he deserved it…"

"He was my friend!"

"…But he's not _you_," Shikamaru pointed out as Kimimaro stumbled into the kitchen and slammed the door shut. Shikamaru groaned. "Okay, we're leaving now!" he yelled towards the door, pushing a hand into the small of Temari's back and leading her out. "If you send me that email like you said, I promise to…_not_ arrest you!"

"…Deal!" Kimimaro's voice could be heard yelping through the door.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he pushed Temari out. "Wow," Temari said simply as they walked down the porch steps.

"Wow is right," Shikamaru muttered.

"It's tough being the popular rich guy, isn't it?" Temari added sarcastically. Shikamaru had to laugh.

.

The next morning, Shikamaru woke to three loud, shrill beeps that raked at his eardrums. He groaned, dreading the sound of his cell phone, and sat up. He had yet again fallen asleep, fully clothed, on his sofa, after reading three books in one night. He pushed two of them off his chest now, where they crumpled to the floor carelessly, and he picked up his phone from the arm of the sofa, massaging his sore neck while he did so, to check what it was alerting him of. An email soon popped up, which he frowned when he recognized; it was from Kimimaro, the promised list of names of all the buyers.

He was about to open it, when he was interrupted by four knocks at his front door. He blinked and looked up, shouting, "Come in."

The door open, and a tiny brunette head peeked around it. "Good morning, Mister Nara!" Tenten said cheerfully, swinging around to walk into his living room and close the door behind her.

"Oh, hey Tenten," he said, sitting up straight. "Thanks for coming."

Tenten stopped in the middle of the room, looking around her with her mouth hanging open. "Wow," she said, in awe, "This place is _huge_! Your house is so _cool_! Just what I'd expect from a celebrity!"

Shikamaru glowered. "I'm _not_ a celebrity," he insisted.

"Yeah, yeah." Tenten walked forwards and plopped down in the armchair, facing him politely as she swept one of her long brown braids over her shoulder. "Anyways, why did you ask me to come here?"

Shikamaru scratched his head briefly and lifted his legs to cross them on the sofa comfortably. "I actually need you to do me a favor…" he said slowly.

Tenten nodded brightly at him. "Sure! What favor?"

Shikamaru watched her, and threaded his fingers together, not sure how to put the words together. "Uh, well Temari tells me you're good at research."

"I'm the best," Tenten said proudly.

Shikamaru nodded. "Well, uh, I could use those skills…" he admitted.

"What, is it something for the case?"

"No, not for the case…" Shikamaru said. "It's more or less…for me…" Tenten raised a brow curiously, and he sighed, deciding it would be better not to beat around the bush and just say it: "I need you to do a full background check on me and Temari's history…starting with High School…"

Tenten blinked, and Shikamaru readied himself for the humiliation that was bound to come.

But to his surprise, Tenten's eyes softened, and she said quietly, "Okay."

Shikamaru looked up at her. "…Uh…" he said slowly. "You'll do it…?"

"Yeah, I'll look into it," Tenten repeated. She leaned back into the armchair, gazing out at the room almost dreamily. "Only because," she added suddenly, "I know what it's like to be betrayed by someone…"

Shikamaru felt his skin turn a little colder, and Tenten glanced at him. "I'm right, aren't I?" she asked. "Temari did something terrible to you in High School, didn't she?" Shikamaru, although slightly concerned that she was so good at guessing this, just nodded, and Tenten smiled sadly. "Yeah. I can see it. Cuz I've been there."

She frowned and looked back out at the room. "I know what it's like to be hurt by someone, especially someone you care about. And I know what it's like to have them come…prancing back into your life, like…" She gave an angry, breathy laugh. "Like nothing happened, like they can _fix_ it in some way, even though you know it'll never be the same and…"

She closed her eyes, her voice fading. Shikamaru watched her cautiously, 'till she sat up straight and sighed. "Either way," she said, changing back to her usual, peppy smile. "The situation isn't always what it seems." She grinned. "Like I always say, you can't judge a book by its cover…"

Shikamaru smiled a bit. "Thanks for this, it's really gonna help me get out of a fog…"

"No problemo!" Tenten said with a wink. She stood, stretching and checking her watch. "Well, I should get to work and…" Shikamaru raised a brow when suddenly she gasped and whipped around to face him.

"What?" Shikamaru asked awkwardly.

"The time!" she cried, pointing to her watch.

He blinked. "Um…Yeah?"

"No, the time!" Tenten stamped her foot, hitting herself in the head. "Oh, I'm so stupid, how could I forget this?"

"What, seriously?" Shikamaru insisted, feeling confused.

"This is the same time that the mystery doctor is always lurking around the hospital!" Tenten said, pointing to her watch again. "He's probably there right now!"

Shikamaru frowned. "Oh, that's right," he said, stroking his chin. "Sai said that he's always there at the same time every day…"

"I have to go," Tenten said hurriedly, grabbing her purse. "I'll call Temari…Are you coming?"

"Coming?" Shikamaru asked. "Uh, no, I actually have to check an email, it's really important." He held up his phone, nodding to the email from Kimimaro. "You and Temari can go and check out the situation though."

"Okay, see you later!" Tenten bounced out of the house in a gust of wind, slamming the door shut behind her on her way out.

Shikamaru heaved a sigh and turned back to his phone. "I need to learn to lock the door," he muttered to the empty living room.

.

Yet again, Temari found herself being called to Gai's hospital room by Tenten, and yet again, as soon as she stepped foot in the door, the brunette nearly pounced on her. Getting about three seconds to wonder if she was going to have to make a habit of this, Temari swept to the side to avoid behind stepped on as Tenten hurried over and cried, "Good, you're finally here!"

"Um, yes, I hurried over as fast as I could. You're pretty speedy, aren't you?" Temari said, raising a brow as Tenten looked around them suspiciously and darted back to face Temari.

"Yeah, whatever, listen!" Tenten hissed. "I've been thinking, if the doctor comes in here we should try to convince him we're on his side, so he can let his guard down."

Temari raised a brow. "And how do we do that?"

Tenten shrugged. "Try to convince him we're _also_ creepy sons of bitches."

Temari sighed. "Tenten, I don't think we should do that. We should just give it to him straight that he's a creepy son of a bitch."

"But—" Tenten was interrupted when her purse began to emit a strong beat. Temari stared condescendingly at the brunette as she fished around in her purse and brought out her phone. "Britney Spears, huh?" Temari asked with a teasing grin.

Tenten glared at her, blushing. "I like her hits." She answered her phone politely. "Hello?"

Temari leaned in so she could listen to the cell phone too, and heard a low, smooth voice speaking on the other end, sounding quite upset. _"Tenten. Where are you right now?"_

Tenten automatically dropped her cheerful attitude in exchange for a dark glare. "…Neji…?" she asked dangerously. The other side was silent, seeming to recognize the fury in her tone. "How the _hell_ did you get my number?"

"_I work with the FBI, I get a lot of numbers," _Neji said slowly. _"But that's not the point. I'm going to say it again, whatever you've gotten yourself into with this Gai case, you need to get out of it now_."

Tenten fisted a hand, and Temari could almost _feel_ the anger wafting off of her. "What makes you think I'll do whatever you say?" Tenten growled.

"_Because this isn't a game anymore," _Neji insisted impatiently. _"This morning I got a bunch of missed calls from Bones, who I sent you after to investigate. So I called him back but he wouldn't answer._"

"So your girlfriend isn't calling you back. Why's that _my_ problem?" Tenten snapped.

"_This isn't a joke, Tenten!"_ Neji said loudly from the phone. _"When I kept calling and he still wouldn't answer, I got suspicious and went to visit him."_

"So was he too busy jerking off?" Tenten said sarcastically.

Neji was obviously un-amused, but he said sharply, _"He's dead."_

Temari and Tenten both froze, and shared a look. Neji continued: _"Listen, whatever this is, it's not simple anymore, it's extremely complicated. I need you to get out of it before you get hurt. Stay away from Maito Gai."_

Tenten gulped and glanced over her shoulder at the sleeping form of Gai in his bead. "Uh, it's a little too late for that…" Tenten said sheepishly into the phone.

Neji paused. _"What do you mean? Where are you?"_

"I'm in his hospital room right now," Tenten explained nervously.

It was silent on the other end for a few seconds, before the sound of Neji's voice came out in a huge sigh, and he said, _"Stay where you are, I'm on my way."_

.

"…Temari?" Shikamaru answered his phone which had been ringing a few seconds earlier hurriedly. "I was just about to call you. What is it?"

"_Hey," _Temari's voice spoke sharply over the phone. _"Guess who's dead."_

Shikamaru tried not to sigh, and muttered exasperatedly, "Osama Bin Laden."

"_No, dumbass!"_

"Oh, so his death _was _a conspiracy after all," Shikamaru grumbled sarcastically.

"_Would you listen? It's Kimimaro! The guy who was alive last night when we saw him, he's dead now, Shikamaru!"_

Shikamaru blinked in surprise. "Dead? How do you know?"

"_The info source of Tenten's, her fuck buddy or whatever—Ouch! Okay, sorry, he's not your fuck buddy! Shit, calm down girl."_

"Temari, seriously!"

"_Would you be patient? Anyways, the guy that knows him found him dead this morning…Oh, I'd better go, he's here now."_

"What? Wait, Temari, but I just got the list of emails from Kimimaro, and you really need to know the last name on the list, it's—"

"—_Sorry, gotta go, see you around Crybaby!"_

"Wait, this is important—!" Shikamaru's voice faded when he listened to the click of Temari hanging up on him. He groaned and swiped a hand across his face. He stayed sitting on his couch for a couple seconds, before he hissed, "Shit," and jumped to his feet, snatching up his car keys.

.

As soon as Temari snapped her phone shut, she turned to face the tall man that had entered the room, frowning at Tenten. He was certainly intimidating, with pale eyes, long dark hair pulled into dreads behind a bandana, and a leather jacket and jeans. He seemed to notice Temari staring, for he glanced at her and raised a brow. Tenten coughed and gestured to Temari, though she didn't give the man the courtesy of looking him in the eyes. "Neji, this is Temari, she's my…future boss."

"Your _current_ boss too."

"You'll be _more_ of a boss in my future."

"Yeah, whatever. Nice to meet you…FBI guy…" Temari looked him over and said uncomfortably, "No offense, but you don't really _look_ like you belong in the FBI…"

"I'm undercover, I have to look the part," he said with a shrug. "But to tell the truth I've always looked like this."

"Oh. Well it suits you so I guess it's okay," Temari said carefully, having to admit to herself that he was pretty scary. But trying to get over that she shifted and placed her hands on her hips. "So, what are we doing here? What needs to be done?"

"Well I'm officially on this case now," Neji said, narrowing his eyes. "And I have more authority, so before anything else happens, _you two_ need to get _off_ of this investigation, _now_."

Temari and Tenten shared a look, and glanced back at Neji, saying at the same time, "No."

Neji blinked down at them, and heaved a sigh. "Wow, Tenten," he muttered. "You sure know how to make friends."

Tenten smirked. "Before you go all FBI on us, I should tell you that _we _actually have more authority on this investigation than you."

Neji looked up at her and raised a brow. "Uh huh. And why is that?"

"Because _Temari _here has hired _the_ Shikamaru Nara."

Neji raised a brow. "Really?" He glanced at Temari, who grumbled, "He's not _that_ important."

Neji heaved a sigh. "Well, he _does_ live in this town, so I guess it's not _that _unbelievable…How did you get a hold of him?"

"Temari knew him in High School," Tenten explained impatiently. "Either way, we're losing time. Since you're here and you're all manly and tough and whatever, you need to help us hunt someone down!"

Neji blinked at the adjectives she'd used to describe him and said slowly, "Um, and who is that?"

"The mystery doctor!"

Neji gave Tenten a strange look and said slowly, "I could've sworn you were sane when we were dating."

Temari for a moment thought she'd have to hold Tenten back from pouncing on the man before she breathed out her fury and said in a voice that shook dangerously, "The _mystery doctor_ is very legitimate. He's a doctor that's been coming in here injecting Gai using a green needle, when Gai is not supposed to be getting any injections, and all the needles in this hospital are red, not green."

"That's definitely suspicious…" Neji said slowly.

"Yeah, and he's in this hospital, right now, probably making his escape _again_!" Tenten snapped.

"Wait, hold on…" Temari said. "What makes you think he's already been here?"

"Look at Gai's arm," Tenten gestured impatiently towards the sleeping Gai. "There's a bit of blood on it from the injection."

Temari looked over and saw it was true, a red dot of blood was seeping from his rather muscular bicep. Temari gasped. "Wait, so the doctor's actually in the hospital now?"

"Yup, we were too late," Tenten said, frustrated. "Thanks to this guy!"

"…But you were already in here when I came. How is this my fault?"

"Oh shut up Neji."

While the other two bickered, Temari stood there frowning. "Wait a second…" she said slowly. "But the janitor said he always saw the doctor heading towards the men's restroom!"

Tenten and Neji froze and faced her. Temari's eyes widened, and she whipped around to face them. "We have to hurry!"

"What? Hey, wait up!" Tenten cried when Temari ran out of the room. She heard Neji and Tenten following her as she hurried down the hallway, and whipped around the corner.

But all three stumbled to a halt at what they saw.

Shikamaru was walking down the hallway, dragging by the collar a dark-haired man whose head was turned away so they couldn't see his face. He was dressed in smocks and a white jacket that the doctors of the hospital wore. In Shikamaru's other hand he gripped tightly the dust mask the doctor had been using to cover up his face.

Shikamaru walked over, pulling the doctor roughly with him. "Tenten," he said dully. "Is this your mystery doctor?"

Tenten blinked in surprise when everyone glanced at her, and she said shakily, "Uh, y-yes, that's definitely him…"

Shikamaru heaved a sigh. "Thought so…" He glanced at the doctor and said, somewhat soothingly, "Come on, you're not getting away. Might as well show them."

The doctor, cowering away from them, let out a tiny whimper, but obeyed Shikamaru and turned around.

Temari felt her skin turn cold. She felt upset, suddenly. She felt _betrayed_. She wasn't expecting this. She didn't _want_ to expect it. But nonetheless, she couldn't deny the truth. She faced the mystery doctor and said his name sadly:

"Lee?"

** – K**

} _Continued on Pg A9; __Conclusions Arise in Interrogation Room_


	9. Conclusions Arise in Interrogation Room

**Author's Note: **No, I'm not going to apologize for the long wait. Because I'm not sorry. XD And check out this meme:

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**You're banning people for silly things without giving them warning, you're not  
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**Many of us have been using this site for many years, and we  
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**COPY & PASTE THIS MEME ONTO YOUR PROFILE AND CHAPTERS OF YOUR STORIES IF YOU FEEL LIKE FF-DOT-NET HAS MISTREATED YOU AS A USER**

**[ Conclusions Arise in Interrogation Room ]**

Temari had been sitting with Shikamaru and Tenten in a dimly lit room in the police station for fifteen minutes before she finally had to snap.

She lifted up her hands, and slammed them furiously on the table in front of her.

Tenten, perched next to her on a wimpy plastic chair, twitched in shock, but Shikamaru, lounging in another chair across the small room, simply raised a brow at her as she folded her arms on the table and blew some pastel blonde bangs out of her eyes.

"I can't believe it's Lee," she grumbled under her breath, glaring down at the table top. She already hated this room, even after the short amount of time she'd been here. She wanted to get out, she wanted to slap Lee in the face and demand answers. But after they'd confirmed that it was Lee who was impersonating a doctor, Shikamaru reluctantly arrested him, and took him to the police station to be questioned by Neji and a few other officers. Lee went quietly, with no struggle. But he didn't say a word in the car ride, and Temari was too angry to talk to him.

But oh, she had a few choice words for him as of now.

"I just can't _believe_ it was _Lee_!" Temari repeated angrily.

"I was _trying _to tell you," Shikamaru drawled from across the room patiently. "You just didn't want to listen." He held up a hand and gestured in the air, saying in a monotone, "Kimimaro sent me an email this morning with the list of names of clients that disguised steroids as aspirin. And the last name on the list was Lee."

"Oh I know, you've already said that," Temari snapped impatiently. "That doesn't help!"

All three of them looked up suddenly when the door opened, and Neji walked in. He gave the three in the room a pitying look before closing the door behind him and coming to a stop in the middle of the room, heaving a sigh, and fidgeting with a manila folder in his hands.

"So," Shikamaru said, sitting up straighter to face Neji. "What do you feds say?"

Neji glanced at Shikamaru and shrugged. "All signs point to your friend Lee," he admitted. "From what we know, the situation makes it look like Lee was taking steroids to amplify his performance in weight-lifting, but Gai found out. So, in an attempt to cover himself up so he didn't get into trouble, Lee poisoned Gai with cyanide, gradually adding cyanide to his coffee every day. When this didn't work, Lee impersonated a doctor so he could continue poisoning Gai by injecting him with cyanide every day, in order to finish the job and keep his trail clean. Unfortunately Kimimaro, the one that sold Lee the steroids in the first place, was also capable of getting Lee into trouble, so Lee killed him to shut him up and cover his tracks."

Temari was appalled. "Are you kidding?" she asked Neji as soon as he was finished. Neji shook his head, and Temari scoffed. "That's bullshit!"

"I don't agree with it either," Neji defended himself, stroking his chin distractedly. "I didn't get a chance to question him directly, but I got a good look at him, and from what I've seen I really don't think he'd be capable of killing someone even if he wanted to."

"But the police think so?" Temari questioned sharply. "And the FBI?"

"That's their theory," Neji confirmed. "But it's only a theory for now. It's useless until they get some proof, and put it all together."

"So we can help Lee, then?" Temari persisted.

"Not really," Neji admitted. "Although the police don't have much, they _are_ the police. And the FBI is on this case now as well, since there's a murder involved, _and_ a very influential chain corporation, too. So in court, you don't stand a chance."

"But Lee's innocent!" Temari cried. "He wouldn't try to poison Gai, there _has_ to be something else going on here!"

Neji sighed, getting a little impatient. "Listen, I agree with you," he said cautiously. "But in order to prove Lee's innocence you'll need some cold hard evidence, and right now there is none."

"But you can help us find some." Neji and Temari turned to look at Tenten, who was sitting on the edge of her seat, eyes focused on Neji. "Right?" she said smoothly when neither said a word.

Neji seemed to be battling different emotions in his head, before he closed his eyes and turned his back on Tenten. "I'm a cop, not a lawyer," he said almost robotically. His voice sounded sad as he added, "I have better things to do."

Glancing at Tenten, Temari could see she was crushed. And furious. The brunette grit her teeth and got to her feet slowly, fisting her hands as she growled, "You jackass," after Neji.

That made Neji pause on his way out the door, before he turned around with a slightly darker expression on his face. Tenten blinked at this face, seeming to back down for a second, before Neji said in a controlled but irritated voice, "You want to know the only thing standing in the way of you three not being questioned by the police?" Tenten didn't answer, and seemed a little intimidated, but Neji went on, saying, "Me. I am the reason you're not filling out witness reports, not being kept in a dirty room with no lighting for about three hours. So you should show me some respect." He paused, and added in a scoff, "And while you're at it, this case is useless; so give up."

Tenten seemed hurt, and Temari almost wanted to get up and hug the woman while Neji turned around.

But everyone in the room paused when Shikamaru suddenly said calmly:

"The best kind of people never give up."

Temari's heart skipped a beat at those familiar words. She, and the other two in the room, gazed at him, and feeling her eyes Shikamaru glanced at Temari and smirked. "That's just some advice I got recently," he said to Neji with a laugh. Temari felt her lips turn up in a smile.

But Neji turned around and gave Shikamaru an exasperated look. "So," he said slowly. "Does that mean I'm acting like the worst kind of people?"

Shikamaru glanced at Neji and shrugged. "By those standards, not necessarily." Neji seemed to relax a bit, but Shikamaru suddenly added, "But in this situation, yes."

Neji paused, his eyebrow twitching at the insult. Obviously trying to calm an ebbing temper, he said carefully, "That's quite a harsh accusation." Shikamaru said nothing, only shrugged, and Neji heaved a sigh and turned to address the room as a whole, saying loudly, "Listen. I'd love to stick around and speak up for…" He gave a short laugh and shook his head, "…the _craziest_ suspect I've ever seen…But at the moment, I have a meeting with five druggies that I'm already late to, which may determine whether or not I'm killed in my sleep. So unfortunately, I can't." He gave the room a mocking look as he said sarcastically, "Understand?"

"No…" The other three turned to stare at Temari, who was gazing at Neji with narrowed eyes. Because she'd realized something. And oh, yes. This was going to be good. She smirked. "You're lying," she declared immediately, nodding in Neji's direction.

Neji's eyebrows rose, and he scoffed, "Another harsh accusation."

"But it's the truth," Temari said with a smirk. Loving the way Shikamaru's eyes were completely glued to her, she bent her wrist towards Neji, pointing at him gracefully. "You're actually really interested in this case, aren't you?" she asked him sharply, continuing before he could answer, "Yeah. You really want to know what's going on. But you don't want Tenten to get involved again, so you're leaving us out of it."

Tenten glanced at Temari, surprised, and Neji frowned, but Temari went on, encouraged: "You're not going to a meeting with five druggies. You're actually going to investigate the crime scene where Kimimaro was murdered." The room was silent, and Temari grinned. "Right?" she finished slyly.

Neji watched her for a few more seconds, before he gave a defeated laugh, a laugh mixed with anger, annoyance, and amusement. "Impressive," he admitted sheepishly.

"If you're going to try to continue the investigation on your own," Temari said, turning her nose up at him, "and leave the rest of us out of it, you should at least do the liberty of telling us." She frowned. "Lying to our faces is an insult to our intelligence, and we're smarter than that." She paused, and shrugged. "Well, _I_ am."

"Hey!" Tenten pouted, and Temari sighed, correcting herself unenthusiastically: "Fine, _we_ are."

Neji heaved a sigh. "Isn't Shikamaru Nara here supposed to be a genius?" he muttered. He held out his hands exasperatedly. "What do you want from me? Whatever it is, I can't give it. If you go in to question Lee, you might _all_ be charged for withholding evidence. Even Shikamaru here, as he wasn't hired by the state, but by a _journalist_."

Temari felt her hand fist at the way Neji addressed her title, but managed to grind desperately, "Can we at least go with you to investigate the crime scene?"

Neji's eyes searched hers. "I don't have that kind of clearance," he said slowly. But when Temari and Tenten both opened their mouths angrily, he added quickly, "_But_ I know someone in here who _does_."

Temari and Tenten paused, then both turned to Shikamaru. Temari bit her bottom lip, watching as the man, who had before been staring dully at the ceiling, turned to look back at her. She couldn't read his eyes, which were, as they always were, as they always had been, since she first met him in High School, blank. But she could read his lips. And they turned up in a smirk as he asked her almost playfully, "Ever been to a crime scene?"

Temari grinned.

** LUCKY GIMMICK**

} _Continued on Pg A10; Team Donut Hits the Crime Scene_


End file.
